"Dressing up" like a grown up or idol from ancient times (="trad") is fine when you are in your 20ies. Woody Allen's hat or Johnny Depp's hat and facial hair - fine when you are a student, wrong if you are as old as these guy actually are.

The older I get, the more attention I pay to look, yes, "neat". Scruffiness is sweet when you are 20 (at that age, you can get away with many things) but nowadays I am almost obsessed with having my hair cut regularly, with mani/pedi, staying slim and fit.

Im not saying that like it's a bad thing either...london life is very chaotic and a few little rituals I imagine can help.. i myself like to keep my wallet in my top jacket pocket..and my keys in my back right trouser pocket even though it wears a hole...i find it quite stressful getting up to the barriers and not having my oyster of train ticket to hand, just doing these little rituals is quite reassuring and helps the day go by smoothly

Last edited by Bop (2015-09-06 07:00:34)

...and yes, I have little control over most of what happens in my world, but I can control whether I look like a scarecrow.

I think you're just defining your set of standards.. and that's fine...ideally the next step is to enforce them...maybe via a clothes forum...lets say on a WYAW thread...ideally with threatening language and/or threats of physical violence.

When did we get to Mod Fourm?

Good point, Chévy.

And now replace "spend an hour at dinner" with "living with" or "being in a room at work every day with".

I dont think anyone has every uttered the following complaint: "He is SO boring. He only wears high-quality clothes that really suit him, in muted colours - besides a few bright coloured ties in Summer - and he doesnt smell like an old potatoe. Man, he should really learn about Sprezzatura".

^

You didn't indicate what stage you're at, exactly.  The young girls stage?

It would be very difficult, indeed dangerous for me to have an affair. I wouldn't risk it as I have too much respect for the missus and kids, but it still doesn't stop me from sometimes thinking about it. Back in the good old days, men in my position would have affairs, if not a mistress across town. Times have changed.

I have no desire to cheat on my wife, honestly. I wouldn't have gotten married otherwise. I was never actually planning on getting married in the first place really, didn't feel like it was one of life's necessities, but once I did, it was because I wanted to, and hence don't feel the need to go elsewhere.

Plenty of people have other arrangements and that is fine too. I don't think there is some moral imperative for monogamous marriage, it's just what I have chosen, and what usually works best for most people.

Unseen brings up a good point though, and this is something my wife and I actually talk about every now and then as we have those friends who are basically in a constant state of midlife crisis. It makes no sense. Life is very short, and it's such a waste to forfeit the present by obsessing over some past. The only way to fill up one's lifetime is to maximize every stage of the journey. If you are trying to be a younger version of yourself, you are not living the current version of yourself.

Re. affairs, my younger brother has an interesting take: You pay prostitutes not to have sex, but so they walk away after you do.
Other piece of wisdom about flirting at our age: When that woman is flirting with you, she is not after you but after what your wife has.
Of course, he lives in Palm Beach so that may color his perspective.

Hi GYW, yes I don't wear t-shirts anymore, trainers or denim.  I like denim but never felt truly comfortable in it.

The impression I get from conversations with single/divorced guys in their 30s & 40s is that the days of going out to a club or bar expressly to cop off with women are pretty much over. Most of the action is online and there are a steady supply of ladies who are up for no strings sexual activity, big cities are best but I suppose in rural areas you just have to be prepared to travel further. There seems to be comparatively little effort involved, providing the man is reasonably confident and presentable, it is quite easy to score. All this free shagging must be having an effect on the economy of prostitution.