"Nice suit.  Mohair?"

"No, Moe Levy"

Matthew Foo Fan

That's an old one.

Told to me by Jim Winston (Paul's brother at Chipp) about 20 years ago, I think to distract me from a fitting where my instructions were not followed:

Alexander Haig gets some cloth in London, and was told it was enough for a two piece suit and an extra pair of trousers.

He goes to a SR tailor, who says, sorry sir, there's only enough for a two piece suit.

Annoyed, Gen. Haig goes to NY and is told maybe he could get a vest and two piece suit, but not extra trousers.

Further annoyed, he goes to HK, and is told 2 piece suit, vest, and maybe shorts.

Not giving up, the General is in Tel Aviv, and is measured twice, the cloth measured twice, and the Gen. told, yes, he can get the two piece suit, extra trousers, and even a vest.

Skeptical, the Gen. asks how is that possible given the three previous tailors' opinions.

The old tailor replies: You see General, in Israel, you're not such a big man.

Two Hasidic rabbis, side curls and all, go to Pincus the tailor to be measured for new black suits.  A few weeks later, the rabbis are walking in the bright sunlight and one complains that their new suits are not black but midnight blue.   The second is not so sure and, noticing a nun walking by, suggests that they compare their suits to color of the nun’s habit.  Upon making the comparison, the second rabbi realizes that the first is right about the suits being blue and exclaims, “Pincus fucked us.”  Overhearing, the nun says, “I thought you guys spoke Hebrew, not Latin.”