Guy goes into a clothing store, tries on a new pair of pants. Tailor asks how they fit.
Man says, “Well, they kinda remind me of Trinity Church.”
Tailor says, “Trinity Church? How could pants remind you of Trinity Church?”
Man says, “Well, you know the ballroom in Trinity Church?”
Tailor thinks for a moment. Then he says, “There’s no ballroom in Trinity Church!”
Man says, “Same as these pants.”
Sometimes, my father would come out of the dressing room at Robert Hall and just say “Trinity Church!”
— sent in by Steven M. Brown, MD of Milwaukee, Wisconsin
"Nice suit. Mohair?"
"No, Moe Levy"
customer:Knock Knock
Tailor: Who's there?
Customer: iGent
Tailor: iGent who?
Customer: iGently drive you crazy with 16 fittings
Guy picks up his suit from the tailor, tries it on and is very disappointed. He complains that the shoulders are not level and the tailor tells him that if he holds his left shoulder up a little it will look fine. He complains that the sleeve pitch is off on the right and the tailor tells him to hold his arm down vertically and it will look fine. He complains that the drape at the back is wrinkled, and the tailor tells him that if he just bends forward a bit it will look fine.
The customer agrees to give it a go and walks out of the shop wearing the suit. He hasn't gone 100 yards when a passer by asks him admiringly who his tailor is. Our customer says' "why do you want to know?" and the passer by replies, "If he can make a suit for a cripple like you then the guy is a genius".
That's an old one.
Told to me by Jim Winston (Paul's brother at Chipp) about 20 years ago, I think to distract me from a fitting where my instructions were not followed:
Alexander Haig gets some cloth in London, and was told it was enough for a two piece suit and an extra pair of trousers.
He goes to a SR tailor, who says, sorry sir, there's only enough for a two piece suit.
Annoyed, Gen. Haig goes to NY and is told maybe he could get a vest and two piece suit, but not extra trousers.
Further annoyed, he goes to HK, and is told 2 piece suit, vest, and maybe shorts.
Not giving up, the General is in Tel Aviv, and is measured twice, the cloth measured twice, and the Gen. told, yes, he can get the two piece suit, extra trousers, and even a vest.
Skeptical, the Gen. asks how is that possible given the three previous tailors' opinions.
The old tailor replies: You see General, in Israel, you're not such a big man.
Two Hasidic rabbis, side curls and all, go to Pincus the tailor to be measured for new black suits. A few weeks later, the rabbis are walking in the bright sunlight and one complains that their new suits are not black but midnight blue. The second is not so sure and, noticing a nun walking by, suggests that they compare their suits to color of the nun’s habit. Upon making the comparison, the second rabbi realizes that the first is right about the suits being blue and exclaims, “Pincus fucked us.” Overhearing, the nun says, “I thought you guys spoke Hebrew, not Latin.”
The joke is nicely told on the website: oldjewsstellingjokes
My favorite is actually Ricky Cohen's "chicken" joke.