Do not study 'blogs' on how to cuff your jeans...
Avoid facial hair, even if you have seen the odd snapshot of John Simons doing it...
Be certain to wear socks with your big fuck-off shoes or risk passing directly from hipster into igent territory...
Do not, under any circumstances, take or post 'selfies'...
Deactivate your Instagram account...
I don't know about 'down south', but there was a fashion around here - that has not entirely gone away - for postmen, football hooligans, supermarket shelf-stackers etc. etc, to grow huge bushy beards but not give up their previously vile habits (for example, chugging cheap lager from the 'tinnie', belching fruitily, crushing said 'tinnie' in the right hand to impress your equally stone-age mates before hurling it onto the pavement because 'somebody else is paid to pick it up). No hand-crafted Weetabix breakfasts, no Red Wings, no graphic design, no finesse.
My small Connecticut town is only about 90 miles from Manhattan. For many this is a selling point, but not me. I wish it was 900 miles.
Anyhoo we received a fair number of people who fled NYC in the last couple years. Between COVID-19 and genuinely bad governance, we now have ...well, not legions, but a fair number of extremely dubious younger men, sporting a) skinny pants b) bad beard #1 (wispy)
c) skinny shirts d) bad beard #2 (looks like a burst horsehair sofa).
They all seem to have jobs that pay them a great deal to sit around in coffee shops and peck at their hand computers. I think they are monetizing the eschaton.
Last edited by Patrick (2021-12-23 06:33:43)
I once tried a 'goatee'. I think I recall reading about some trad jazzer, a chum of George Melly and Mick Mulligan, who sported this look and was described as resembling 'a lecherous fawn'. (Melly's 'Owning Up' by the way is a good read for anyone interested in the British jazz scene just around the time Tommy Steele was 'making his mark'). I probably looked worse: not unlike Ralphie from 'The Sopranos' only a good deal more dangerous to schoolchildren. It had to go. I'll leave that, I thought, to the likes of Dizzy Gillespie (or my mother-in-law).
Just as New Yorkers head for New England, soft southern shandy drinkers head in our direction, unable to identify pork dripping in the butchers and mistaking mushy peas for Metropolitan North London Islington Dip. Chap across the street is from Muswell Hill. Crosses may well be ignited on his lawn.
The 'mullet' is being mentioned elsewhere as making a 'comeback'. That being the case I shall be returning to my US Marine Gunnery Sergeant look before New Year. I have my Wahl at the ready.
Do not be too knowledgeable about coffee. Let's face it 'tis only a hot beverage.
Do not use the phrases artisan, craft, curated or body art.
Do not ape the style of farmers, gold diggers or cowboys when going to your office in Shoreditch.
Do not put on a mockney accent or pretend to know the ways of the working class when in truth you're called Tristan, went to Eton and live in Chipping Camden.
Do not roll jeans higher than the ankle, wear beanie hats upright (like a smurf) or own German Lesbian sandals sometimes referred to Birkenstocks.
^ Reminds me of a nice, pretentious Trot I knew at university: John Lennon specs, Sadcake Road Polytechnic baker boy cap, whining estuary accent. Turned out to be a farmers' boy from Essex. Got huffy when he learned I'd opened a Building Society account for my daughter. Got his degree then went to a bank to work as a debt collector. Mind you, I preferred the Lefties to the Righties on the whole: nice, thoughtful kids in the Labour Club as opposed to the supercilious, rugby-shirt wearing spoiled sons and daughters of the tax-dodging middle-classes. Mind you, the fact that I carried a battered copy of Tom Clancy's 'Red Storm Rising' seemed to offend just about everybody.
Also avoid anything that's been "curated."
Guilty on all charges your honour. Live a bit chaps. Coffee just a hot beverage? Be gone with you man and take your mug of instant Nescafe with you! Turn-ups on jeans? Go crazy and go for the 50s rockabilly thing now and again - it looks great with Weejuns. Don't want to look like a prissy little mod now do you? And let that bum fluff express itself - grow it out and be a weirdy beardy Ivyist. I really have no time for the 'Ivy League is a sensible man's wardrobe style that my wife also approves of' kind of thing which you do encounter here from time to time. Go easy on the beige - it can age you horribly. Selfies on Instagram - yes, guilty. I too used to mock, but ah fuck it, sometimes I fancy myself and want a bit of an exchange with other clothes nuts out there. Also on my charge sheet - a love of sourdough bread, an Ooni pizza oven and a pair of Birkenstocks which occasionally get worn. I guess my DNA is 20% ageing hipster.
Yup, I’m with TRS - god forbid I end up looking conservative
Thank you for your contributions, chaps. All good fun!
The Birkenstock? A line in the sand is thus drawn. They're a 'design classic' I'm sure but I don't even like seeing them on women. My next door neighbour wears some kind of rubber sandal get-up when he's firing up his barbecue (another of my pet hates).
For Greta-adoring lizzies only.
I'm with TRS too. I wear and do what I like. The chances of my being mistaken for a hipster because I am a coffee connoisseur in need of a shave are pretty slim but if it should happen I wouldn't give a shit. Why would I want to avoid anything?
It seems the majority of threads on here now are moaning about how badly-dressed and terrible people are and how shit the rest of the internet is.
I was nodding in agreement to TRS post and then he went and mentioned Birkenstock. Not for me. Many moons ago there was a phase of wearing Scholl sandals amongst school kids but that quickly passed. I had a couple of pairs.
Interesting the Ooni pizza oven is mentioned. I did an internet search a year ago for ovens and ever since I get pop ups for them. In a store yesterday I saw three different models. As I'm planning an outside pizza oven I did consider them but I'm going for a more rustic look. I just have to wait for spring and I can start to build one. (I've been saying this for 3 or 4 years)
Last edited by RobbieB (2021-12-24 03:34:34)
Nothing wrong with Birks, my second spell at Harrington (early noughties) we stocked them in the summer months. I thought they were hideous and worn by German tourists with mullets. Anyway one busy Saturday of being on my feet all day and rushing up and down from the basement for 9 hours my feet were killing me, I tried on a pair and my God it was like having a foot massage, they were the most comfortable things I've ever worn.
This forum is full of surprises.
Runninggeez, are you still wearing Birks?
Beards and coffee, yes.
Birkenstock sandals? Not in public. I once applied for a job there. Three-piece flannel suit and Shell Cordovan Longwings was too much, I guess.
Runninggeez, are you still wearing Birks?
Only in the privacy of my back garden Robbie.
Don’t have a problem with posting outfits on select sites, like here (if it worked). It’s nice to gain inspiration from others. Drink the odd coffee, more interested in tea these days. I might call in somewhere for coffee if I’m out for a few hours in London or somewhere, but I don’t feel the need to walk around the street with a paper cup in my hand, still less to have cups of it brought to the house by Deliveroo. Beard - I’ve had a goatee for 30 years so don’t see that changing. Apart from Dickie’s shorts I don’t do workwear, although I like a bit of military e.g peacoat & M65 I have decided that for me the rolled jean look is over, it came in when the word ‘selvedge’ came to public attention and was always about letting everyone know that you weren’t just wearing ordinary jeans, you had paid the extra to have the coloured stitching inside. I suppose we will see lingering legacy hipsters in the future but thankfully the giant beards are on the wane. There’s going to be some tattoo regret in years to come.
Tattoo regrets
I've had a few
But then again
Too many to mention...
I was sixteen and a total idiot.
The original posting: light-hearted pre-Christmas knockabout, intended to generate banter only: no offence intended to anyone - least of all Yuca.
None taken.
Incidentally, no real coffee connoisseur walks around with one in a paper cup.
I find Tom's use of the word 'conservative' highly interesting. I once thought, with much 'Ivy League' dressing, that was largely the point.
I wonder, though, going back to the 'Boom Years', how often some black jazz musician admired his dark suit, white shirt and neatly-knotted tie in the mirror and said to himself, 'Hey, man, I look just like one of those cats at Harvard'. Did he think of himself as 'a conservative' dresser?
As TRS said, Ivy is a mood. I'd go further and say it's a pretty complex attitude.