A new Neapolitan tailor generates much excitement by posting on the fora. What criteria are most important for determining his credentials?
He speaks Italian
He speaks Italian and English
He doesn't speak English
He loves grappa
He's sooooo charming
His surname contains a sufficient number of vowels
His father, grandfather and great-grandfather are also tailors
He has a website
He doesn't have a website
His workshop requires a GPS device to locate
His workshop has an espresso maker
He apprenticed at 7 months of age
He travels to New York
He keeps a currency converter with him
He's coming out with a new watch and cologne
When in public you carry:
A) no guns
B) 1 or more guns
C) It's none of your damn business how many guns I carry. It's my God-given right to keep and bear arms! Screw you and all the other whiny liberals!
You have a once-in-a-lifetime invitation from Sir Richard Branson to take an intergalactic trip aboard his new rocketship. The first thought that occurs to you is...
Am I really courageous enough to venture into the great unknown?
What if something goes wrong and I never see my friends and family again?
Would my body withstand the intense G-forces?
Can Anderson & Sheppard make a bespoke spacesuit with proper drape?
A dear friend dies following a grueling illness and you are asked by the grieving family to deliver the eulogy. Touched, you begin to collect your thoughts as your heart is flooded with emotion...
Why does God take them so young?
What were the most memorable times we spent together?
How loved he was by everyone who knew him
How will I go on without my best friend?
Should my socks match my trousers or my shoes?
What, in your opinion, is the most important advancement in the history of the world?...
Albert Einstein developing the theory of relativity
Ted Hoff inventing the microprocessor
Robert Jarvik creating the artificial heart
Alex Kabbaz matching patterns on shirts, though, examples remain highly elusive
An iGent walks into a bar wearing a suit with sufficient drape, but with gaping holes in its fabric. He orders a drink, and one of the drunks seated at the bar blurts: "Hey, buddy, that's a funny-looking outfit." The iGent sniffs and replies: "Obviously you don't recognize Lesser cloth."
Last edited by Voltaire's Other Bastard (2008-07-30 10:45:40)
An iGent walks into a bar wearing a stroller and button boots, with a pile of shit on his head. He orders a drink and one of the drunks seated at the bar points to his head and blurts: "Hey, buddy, what the hell?" The iGent sniffs and replies: "The modern rules permits one to wear brown in town."
Last edited by Voltaire's Other Bastard (2008-07-30 10:45:23)
Why did the iGent cross the road?
To get to Daffy's, which was selling Incotex pants at 75% off.
How many iGents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to change the bulb and two to check on whether his jacket collar remains smartly adhered to his neck while doing so.
Knock knock
Who's there?
iGent
Sorry, this is no tailor shop, this is Chinese restaurant. Go away!
Why did the iGent cross the Row?
To check out the house styles of Huntsman, Gieves, Kilgour's and Henry Poole.
How do you ruin an iGent's day?
Tell him the stock market has plunged 300 points
Tell him Bin Ladin just released another ominous videotape
Tell him global warming is getting worse
Tell him his shoes are made from corrected grain
LOL funniest thread in a long time...
You're about to enter Heaven's doors. To your surprise, Saint Peter gives you two choices: 1. eternal life in Heaven, or 2. reincarnation. What best describes your reaction?
-I am going to Heaven. No way in hell I am returning to Earth
-(with tears of excitement) Whew! Just when I thought I would never, ever experience another elevator ride to Charvet's shirtings room... AND in the company of another iGent!
Last edited by Marc Grayson (2008-08-02 20:00:01)
You go to the book-signing of a noted author. While autographing your copy of the book, there is just enough time to pose one burning question of the author. Which author and question, below, can you most easily relate to?...
Mr. Shakespeare, what was your greatest inspiration?
Miss Rowling, what advice would you give the yound writers of this day and age?
Mr. Joyce, could you comment on the nuances and puns in Finnegans Wake?
Mr. Tolkien, where does one draw ideas from for writing fantasy?
Mr. Antongiavanni, Dude, um, what's up with you wearing black shoes with an odd jacket, and a shirt with machine-sewn buttonholes???
Last edited by Marc Grayson (2008-08-20 21:04:40)
Why does an igent carry a magnifying glass around?
A. To burn ants
B. To solve crimes
C. To make sure his shirtmaker is putting the exact number of stitches in his shirt.
Why did Monsieur iGent commit suicide by leaping off the Eiffel Tower?
Monsieur iGent was depressed over the breakup of his marriage
Monsieur iGent was depressed over the loss of his job
Monsieur iGent was depressed over strife in the world
Monsieur iGent was depressed over Charvet discontinuing #400 shade of white shirting.