Acknowledging that a nice, soft shirt has a pleasant appeal and that I do not subscribe to some conflicted, UHB notion of authenticity, does anyone have advice for softening up the worst of the worst?
Tongue slightly more out of cheek, I have one of those Brooks non-irons of infamy (very stiff due to whatever coating they use). I had given up all hope of it ever yielding into the autumn of its life, but just yesterday I handled one that was, actually, soft (all things being relative). This unicorn of a non-iron was very near to the end of its life (a few small holes, much fraying). So, the desired characteristic is achievable, assuming a person can age the shirt more evenly.
I would think that I can't exactly stonewash a shirt (nor would I put stones in my wash), but my shirt will most certainly not go soft all by its lonesome (I work at a desk). I have washed it many times, from wear, and it has in fact begun to fray. But the cuffs and collar remain faithful to their rigid reputation. Is there a J. Crew-esque "secret wash" I may practice at home, under the full moon?
All advice taken and considered. You needn't even speak to my question itself. Soft shirts, I assume, are widely appreciated and sought after in general.
Put a large raw white onion in a sock in your washer with the shirt. Sounds crazy but it does work. Enzymes produced by the onion in combination with a non-chlorine detergent will eventually break through the coating of the shirt fibres.
Fifteen to twenty treatments of this kind should render your formerly 'non-iron' shirt as soft as butter.
I was going to mention some kind of enzyme wash but had no idea about how to effect one.
Maybe soaking the shirt in the manner you suggest for a good long while & then washing it in the normal way would be a neater process... But would it still work?
Has it come to this? Surely the dullest of all threads. Like the back pages of 'Womans' Weekly'...
I prefer my oxfords and poplins a little, erm, stiffer. For some reason they wear a little cooler and less saggy that way.
Moosey don't give in to this horrible thread. You're better than this...
The soft shirt brigade might want to look out for the Lands' End 'sueded poplin' (?) shirts. Unlined collar and cuffs too.
Because Moosey. I've been away for a few days and not been on the forum. When I opened up all the threads I missed I just thought it was all a bit boring really. The people aren't boring. The crew are intelligent and articulate and witty, like yourself, but every now and again things just slide into dullsville. And a thread about boiling a fucking onion with your shirt just summed these doldrums up!
I'd rather have a good, entertaining barney than dissapper into total banality... What say you chum?
Just like Ol' Luke... I'm a just natural born world shaker!
PS. I love you Uncle...
It's playing with that 'dullness' to make it 'hip' that's the razor's edge...
Big B. - Cancel your plans, we have to go camping together next summer.
Beatnik, you seem to had an irony bypass in your time away from the forum.
Who in their right mind would consider boiling a fucking onion in a sock to make a shirt softer? My hope was that at some time in the future this technique would be taken as an orthodoxy as a result of some desperate googling:
"shit must be true; I saw it on the internet."
We all want to kiss the sky.
Some of us are willing to try.
NSB. Sorry mate, if that's your idea of irony. Perhaps you are suffering from a little irony defficiency yourself? I like my irony to be thought provoking, sympathetic, witty...
I admire your honesty Moosey. "Dull is what you want now". But I don't really think that's what you truly feel. If someone described you as dull you would be offended.
Glamour isn't just for girls and you know it. You are being a touch glib there chum.
You go to the Jazz Cafe you don't want dull. You want fabulous well dressed people that get your creative juices flowing...
Go and wank yourself off into the armpit of your cheesecloth shirt.