Last edited by The_Shooman (2010-05-22 22:28:07)

ACT TWO

INT. BATHROOM 

MySharona, dressed in tie and jacket, is snapping pics of himself in the mirror. He hears the rumble of the UPS truck and the squeal of its brakes as it stops in front of his house. His face brightens as he puts down the camera.

                                                                       MYSHARONA
                                                        Chinos!

He takes a quick sip from his beer as he hears the ringing of the doorbell.  He goes to the window, looks down and sees Dr. Phudson at his door.


EXT. HOUSE

Dr. Phudson, with the Lands End package, is about to ring the bell again when he hears the Upstairs bathroom window open.  He looks up as MySharona sticks his head out the window.

                                                                      DR.  PHUDSON
                                                        Package from Lands End...

                                                                        MYSHARONA
                                                         Just leave it on the steps, thanks.

                                                                       DR. PHUDSON
                                                         Need a signature on this one.

                                                                       MYSHARONA
                                                          Hold on, I'll be right down.

                                                                       DR. PHUDSON
                                                          No rush.  Finish taking your pictures.

INT. BATHROOM

MySharona is shutting the window when the remark about pictures sinks in.  He pauses, then carefully steals a glance out the window at Dr. Phudson.  He notices that The Dr.'s belt is equipped with more rope and rolls of duct tape than is usually seen on a UPS driver.  MySharona's face shows deep concern.

INT. BEDROOM

MySharona bursts into the master bedroom where is wife is waiting in the bed, wearing her sexiest lingerie.  The lights are low, soft music plays, Mrs. MySharona is eager but getting impatient.

                                                                    MRS. MYSHARONA
                                                             Where have you been, honey? I've been waiting...

As he hurries to his closet he throws her his camera.

                                                                         MYSHARONA
                                                              Guard it with your life.

                                                                     MRS. MYSHARONA
                                                              Who's at the door?

INT. CLOSET

MySharona pushes some jackets aside to reveal a wall-mounted arsenal of iGent approved weapons.

                                                                     MYSHARONA
                                                               UPS, he claims. But I think it might be an old friend from
                                                               Andys.  I've got to make sure.

He selects a shotgun.

INT. BEDROOM

Mrs. MySharona sees MySharona emerge from his closet, loading the shotgun.

                                                                     MRS. MYSHARONA
                                                            You're going to shoot him?  Honey, I just got the
                                                            kids down...

                                                                     MYSHARONA
                                                            I know. I'm using the flash suppressor. They won't hear
                                                            a thing.
                                                                     (indicating camera)
                                                            Remember how to upload?  A lot of guys are depending on
                                                            seeing those pictures tonight.

MySharona finishes affixing the suppressor to the barrel of his gun, then comes to the bed and kisses his half-naked eager wife.

                                                                        MRS. MYSHARONA
                                                                    (embracing him)
                                                             Be careful.

The sound of the doorbell again.

                                                                          MYSHARONA
                                                              Everything will be ok, baby.  Just one last thing
                                                              before I go...


                                                                          MRS. MYSHARONA
                                                                (her eyes closed, her mouth open)
                                                              Yes...?

MySharona stands up, straightens his tie, rests the gun against the door and assumes a pose.

                                                                          MYSHARONA
                                                               Make sure the shoes are in focus...

END of Act Two.

Last edited by Gilgamesh2003 (2010-05-23 11:09:15)

It is like a soap opera on this thread. Miss an episode and you have to catch up. I am currently checking P Hudson's posts to see why the current plotline has developed.

Popeye must have crossed swords with MySharona who was not best pleased with the beer bottles in the bathroom references a while back. Must be an ongoing feud that I am oblivious to.

http://www.askandyaboutclothes.com/forum/showthread.php?105272-Proof-that-black-shell-cordovan-is-re-dyed-lighter-shell-cordovan-(Lots-o-pix)
Really?

Years ago I made stink on this issue. Somehow we are to believe only french draft horses that are headed for the knackers anyway are employed.
The simple fact is horse colour is determined solely by the alignment of light reflecting cells in the hair follicle and the tanned skin a rather non descript and dark colour prone to a great deal of variation. We naturally also accept a horse of long years and work will have a blemish free hide without 'jewelry.'
The truth, and I personally nosed this out in the underbelly of the hypocritical horse industry are young, excess population animals that cannot literally run for their lives one less tick on the fancy chronograph face slaughter for japanese and european meat and hide markets.
I have a two year degree in hands on agricultural science. I've made peace with the slaughter of many domesticated animals and understand the argumetns pro and con with merit to both. The horse slaughter industry is not mere sentiment for a charismatic animal deeply woven in mankind's history like the dog. It is a nasty, dirty and cruel business.
I'd like to take every cordovan wearing igent and slap them around with same.

No need. By the time I 'found' the mare I raised from a foal, she had been transported via low roofed cattletrailer without water or rest. A electric bolt was fired into her skull, chains connected to rear legs and hoisted in the air. A second worker then decapitated and gutted her. A third and fourth station flayed the hide and butchered the meat. It took a search warrant and police to enter and find her head in a pile of offal.
Chicago gets many of it's horses from the canadian premarin operations. Mares spend their lives in perpetual pregnancy to produce milk to manufacture estrogen products for women's menopause. If it's a filly she becomes another producer. If it's a colt he becomes horsehide. The other source are primary breeeding farms, mainly Thoroughbred for 'The Sport of Kings' and horses that merely show up in cattle trailers.
Your igent costume wouldn't fare to well. I would suggest green rubber wellies and a rubber apron and gloves. A red shirt and trad red slacks will work, spots from work being so hard to get out these days.

Last edited by ckav (2010-05-23 22:06:17)