The most important celebrity family in America is the offspring of some Armenian lawyer who was played by Ross in the O.J. miniseries. He had a whole slew of daughters who are obsessed with bedding rich black men. This may go back to the Armenian role in slavery during the Ottoman Empire, but I can’t be certain. The uglier ones date black men who die, but the prettiest one is an enormous-assed brunette named Kim who married a rhyming singer with Tourette’s named Kanye. She catapulted the whole family into fame by filming herself being penetrated by a black millionaire. This fame boost included the stepfather, who took over the family after the Armenian father died and is a transsexual who recently killed a woman. He’s had so much plastic surgery, it gave him a panic attack. This is a rite of passage for everyone in the family and that includes everyone associated with them. Even Kanye’s mother died from it. As the youngest girls grow older, they go from looking like normal children to cartoon whores. It’s assumed they too will date African-American millionaires. Even the brother has (you can watch the recent birth of his child here).

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