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#1 2013-08-09 06:33:02

Armchaired
Ivy I.V.
From: Old England
Posts: 7580

Why wasn’t I born Gay?

What is it with wives? I have been telling Mrs Armchaired for years not to buy clothes for me.
She has just called me to say she has bought me two pairs of Italian made trousers in the M & S sale.
And a pair of shoes that sound very much like double monk straps (dread). I am currently pooling resources for
My Fizzy and a pair of Hertling five pockets. Why must she waste my money on trousers that probably?
Have a 9 inch rise  (Dom may like them) and shoes that will almost certainly go straight to e bay.

At least if i had a Boyfriend he would listen to me wouldn’t he?
I am Cursed for being a hetro.
Women huh who needs them? Do any of you lot have this problem or is my wife as I suspect a basket case.


�Careful with that axe Eugene.�

 

#2 2013-08-09 07:00:08

Bishop of Briggs
Member
Posts: 3948

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?

Take the trousers and shoes back to M&S and get your money back.


Contrary to lies of FNB and Woofboxer, I (and most of the other "Buff Bastards") have been banned from posting on this forum. There are only a few posters left so don't waste your time on here. This forum is dead and nobody cares.

 

#3 2013-08-09 07:05:16

Worried Man
Member
From: Davebrubeckistan
Posts: 15988

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?

HAHA.  I've often told Mrs. WM that I'm going to go get in a relationship with a wealthy gay man, just so she and I can have an increased standard of living.


"We close our sto' at a reasonable hour because we figure anybody who would want one of our suits has got time to stroll over here in the daytime." - VP of George Muse Clothing, Atlanta, 1955

 

#4 2013-08-09 08:15:23

Leer R.
Member
From: Vienna
Posts: 3450

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?

 

#5 2013-08-09 09:05:36

Worried Man
Member
From: Davebrubeckistan
Posts: 15988

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?

Back to AC's original point...

My mother still, to this day, will buy me a shirt or something that she thinks I'll like.  It's always way off base.  Christmas brings at least one article of clothing I can't stand.  I've told her to stop buying me clothes, and I've told my dad to tell her not to by me clothes.  Still, it's inevitable. 

Thankfully Mrs. WM knows what I like, but the cost of most of the items on my real want list are a little out of the range of just buying something to be friendly.  She'll come home from a thrift store with some really cool items for me every once in a while - the last being a nice Pendleton board shirt. 


AC, we just need to cherish the women that love us, not wish for homosexuality.

Last edited by Worried Man (2013-08-09 09:06:49)


"We close our sto' at a reasonable hour because we figure anybody who would want one of our suits has got time to stroll over here in the daytime." - VP of George Muse Clothing, Atlanta, 1955

 

#6 2013-08-09 09:12:51

Armchaired
Ivy I.V.
From: Old England
Posts: 7580

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?


�Careful with that axe Eugene.�

 

#7 2013-08-09 09:15:10

Worried Man
Member
From: Davebrubeckistan
Posts: 15988

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?

I guess we've all got our fetishes.  I for one, would love to see Mrs. WM dress up like Oxford Cloth Button Down, and then every time I try to put a move on her she inches away, moves my hand off her leg, turns the other cheek when I lean in for a kiss, gently slaps my hand away from her breast.


"We close our sto' at a reasonable hour because we figure anybody who would want one of our suits has got time to stroll over here in the daytime." - VP of George Muse Clothing, Atlanta, 1955

 

#8 2013-08-09 09:17:51

Armchaired
Ivy I.V.
From: Old England
Posts: 7580

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?


�Careful with that axe Eugene.�

 

#9 2013-08-09 09:18:30

Worried Man
Member
From: Davebrubeckistan
Posts: 15988

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?


"We close our sto' at a reasonable hour because we figure anybody who would want one of our suits has got time to stroll over here in the daytime." - VP of George Muse Clothing, Atlanta, 1955

 

#10 2013-08-09 10:58:15

doghouse
Member
Posts: 5147

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?

I have respect for any woman insane enough to put up with us. Or a healthy fear, one of the two.


Hide thy infants, hide thy Lady, and hide thy husband, alas they art forcing sexual intercourse upon the entire populace. - Wm Shakespeare

 

#11 2013-08-09 11:01:35

Worried Man
Member
From: Davebrubeckistan
Posts: 15988

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?


"We close our sto' at a reasonable hour because we figure anybody who would want one of our suits has got time to stroll over here in the daytime." - VP of George Muse Clothing, Atlanta, 1955

 

#12 2013-08-09 11:10:42

doghouse
Member
Posts: 5147

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?

HA


Hide thy infants, hide thy Lady, and hide thy husband, alas they art forcing sexual intercourse upon the entire populace. - Wm Shakespeare

 

#13 2013-08-09 12:25:17

Topstitcher
Member
Posts: 2519

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?

I actually know a real life homosexual (We're having drinkies in a little bar I know tomorrow) and it is my understanding that being a 'Gay' will not save you from other people's choices. Only you can do that.

I wish you well.


What the world needs now is love, sweet love... And a jolly good kick up the harris.

 

#14 2013-08-09 12:45:49

Armchaired
Ivy I.V.
From: Old England
Posts: 7580

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?

Shit that’s obviously a dead-end then, especially as you actually know a real life gay person.
What about some of the gender reassignment crowd? Might be worth a try?


�Careful with that axe Eugene.�

 

#15 2013-08-09 13:26:21

Liam
Moderator
Posts: 2068

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?


"Plup." Jimmy Frost Nachtman.

 

#16 2013-08-09 15:53:27

Worried Man
Member
From: Davebrubeckistan
Posts: 15988

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?


"We close our sto' at a reasonable hour because we figure anybody who would want one of our suits has got time to stroll over here in the daytime." - VP of George Muse Clothing, Atlanta, 1955

 

#17 2013-08-09 17:47:35

Jeff Reed
Member
From: Brooklyn, New York
Posts: 991

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?

How about a thread, "If I were gay, I would fancy 'x'", where 'x' would have to be a FNB member?

No judgments.

I know who I would want to take me home.

 

#18 2013-08-10 01:19:02

Bop
Member
Posts: 7661

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?

Its like... well when you walk into an old boozer and suddenly you realise there's a rainbow flag behind the bar. I'll finish my drink and be on my way

 

#19 2013-08-10 02:50:45

Armchaired
Ivy I.V.
From: Old England
Posts: 7580

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?


�Careful with that axe Eugene.�

 

#20 2013-08-10 04:05:03

Dudley Clarke
Member
Posts: 1211

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?

If you find yourself happily wearing double-strapped monks, you know that you have crossed the rubicon.


I came up to see her sometimes.

 

#21 2013-08-12 03:15:01

Topstitcher
Member
Posts: 2519

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?


What the world needs now is love, sweet love... And a jolly good kick up the harris.

 

#22 2013-08-12 12:41:12

Worried Man
Member
From: Davebrubeckistan
Posts: 15988

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?

I've always been a hit with queers.  Especially back when I was living in the city and going out all the time.  I had two guys that developed pretty severe crushes that bordered on obsessive stalker behavior.  One was a coworker, so those were very tricky waters to navigate.  I was able to rectify that one pretty amicably.  The other guy ended up never speaking with me again and would give me cold go to hell I want to kill you stares whenever I would see him.  Shame really, because I really liked him and enjoyed his company as a friend.


"We close our sto' at a reasonable hour because we figure anybody who would want one of our suits has got time to stroll over here in the daytime." - VP of George Muse Clothing, Atlanta, 1955

 

#23 2013-08-12 12:47:57

doghouse
Member
Posts: 5147

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?


Hide thy infants, hide thy Lady, and hide thy husband, alas they art forcing sexual intercourse upon the entire populace. - Wm Shakespeare

 

#24 2013-08-12 13:13:10

Worried Man
Member
From: Davebrubeckistan
Posts: 15988

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?

For those that don't know, Atlanta has a huge gay population.  I call it South Francisco.


"We close our sto' at a reasonable hour because we figure anybody who would want one of our suits has got time to stroll over here in the daytime." - VP of George Muse Clothing, Atlanta, 1955

 

#25 2013-08-12 14:11:56

Bop
Member
Posts: 7661

Re: Why wasn’t I born Gay?

 

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