Last edited by Ed (2007-01-20 10:31:50)

Conference Workshop

Lesson 107: "How Frustrated Internet Tailor Geeks Can Critique The Suits Of Message Board Posters"  Class summary: Amaze and impress your message board peers by learning the finer points of offering quasi-believable (but really nonsensical) advice, such as...

"Move your left pocket to the right by 1/8 inch"
"Raise the gorge by 3/16 inch"
"Lower right shoulder by 4/7 inch"
"Hmmm, not sure about the button stance"
"Do I see a ticket pocket on a town suit?"
"Nip in the waist a bit"
"Let out the waist a bit"
"Too much cuff"
"Not enough cuff"
"Where's the drape?"
"Use shoulder pads to create the illusion of being taller"

Pre-Conference Workshop

Make Your Own Shoe Trees.

Forget about stuffing old newspapers in your new Kenneth Coles.

Let  master carpenter Norm Abram from The New Yankee Workshop
show you how to make your own shoe trees from pressure treated
southern yellow pine.

Bring a 2x4 and a chisel and learn how to preserve those shoes.

Last edited by Ed (2007-01-20 12:49:40)

Mandatory Class For All Traveling Bespoke Tailors To New York

Lesson 109: Why "shlep" your customers' garments back and forth on your wearisome transatlantic journeys merely for those cumbersome fittings?  We show you a neat little trick of the trade of taking the garments to a mid-town alterations tailor who will handle your every need.  Then, afterwards, when you return, you simply drop by, get the garments, take them to your hotel suite, and do the fittings for your customer.  Repeat procedure as many times as needed.  No fuss, no muss and nobody is the wiser.  Heh heh"

Special Announcement: Men's Fora Troll Identification Seminar.

A "hands-on" workshop where attendees will learn our well-proven and award-winning strategies for detecting and identifying trolls,  a honorable task that, due to the alarming threat these pose to our well being, has received increased emphasis in the elite men's fora community. Take the opportunity to join our forces to identify, sentence, ban, and ultimately behead those who violate the Moderator's Code of Conduct in the most efficient manner. Drape-attired, 25-inch drop humanoids are specially encouraged to attend.

Last edited by Cruz Diez (2007-01-20 16:01:56)

Special Study Group: Bespoke Artisan Deification Procedures and Practices

A must-attend forum for all serious and committed message board fora habitues.  Roundtable discussion on how to deify members of the bespoke trade, real and imagined.  Begin the deification process by classifying them as "artisans" and use this characterization incessantly even if you haven't the foggiest idea of the level of their workmanship as you've never seen their product nor have you even met them.  Refer to various personages, gushingly so, whenever possible, as "Masters" of the industry, e.g. Master Tailor, Master Shirtmaker, Master Craftsman, or simply The Master or A Master.  Do not--I repeat, do not--be deterred by the fact that you haven't the qualifications to ascertain the quality of their work nor do you know what the term Master even signifies.  You just enjoy the way it sounds, and that's perfectly fine! This is, after all, the world of the message board fora, where standards are, frankly, irrelevant.  You'll soon be on your way to being a respected, knowledgeable message board fora member to whom others will turn for advice and guidance.

Last edited by Marc Grayson (2007-01-20 17:19:25)

Lamb is for shepherd.

Day Nine

Plenary Session

Main Ballroom – 8:00 am

Keynote Address:  Is it OK to Wear a Black Suit?

Keynote Speaker:   The Ghost of Johnny Cash

(abstract)

Hello, I’m Johnny Cash. I came back today to tell you
about the black suit. I wear black for the seamstresses
at Jantzen who strain their eyes pattern matching yokes
to sleeves on $43 shirts; for Raphael the NYC tailor who has
a backlog of London Savile Row suits he has to completely
recut for his customers; for Marc Grayson who could have
bought a house on Long Island for the money he threw
away on London bespoke tailors and shirt makers who.
failed to deliver goods as promised. For all of these
folks, I wear black and I urge you to do the same.
Never walk the line on arbitrary rules dictated by
message board fashionistas. My name is Sue. How
do you do.

(abstract)

You mean the people who put on this event are real?  I thought all of this was the equivalent of World of Warcraft, a no-holds barred online sartorial game where one assumes an identity and acquires imaginary objects on the way to domination of an online forum. 

Live and learn I guess.  Anyone want to buy my collection of virtual bespoke suits?

LOL!

Again I'm being a bore... But how did we get here?

When the first person started with all this sh*t why didn't the whole world tell them to f*ck off?

Goodness, the Internet is very different from real life isn't it?
Have you all noticed this too?
Bet you have but were just too polite to say...

What other medium (or what other 'medias'?) would stand for all the made-up silly talk that the net promotes? You couldn't get away with it down the pub could you?

... Having said that it's all damn funny isn't it?

Roll on Sartorial Excellence IV!

I like to think of all the guys behind all this sitting back with their cigars thinking 'What can we stick them with next? Brown shirts with black boots? Anything for a laugh...'

My only gripe is that I make no money out of all this... Oh to be a Malinda...

Please don't tell me that they don't get paid & just do it for the glory of it all...

My life is hard enough as it is...

tel.