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#101 2010-12-22 11:58:50
- Big Tony
- Member
- Posts: 5478
Re: Joke of the Day
"What sort of post-apocalyptic deathscape is this?"
"I don't want to look like a cock hungry sailor after all !!!"
"When it comes to infidelity, broken families, and reckless fatherhood, the underclass are amateurs."
#102 2010-12-22 18:22:29
- Grossgrain Silk
- Member
- From: The Inner Bar
- Posts: 877
Re: Joke of the Day
The title of the thread is Joke of the Day. Not tedious drivel of the day. Please keep this in mind for the future. I can tell from this that you're a tall Christian with an inferiority complex - which seems well-founded - but don't parade it here.
Last edited by Grossgrain Silk (2010-12-22 18:22:48)
#103 2010-12-23 05:21:01
#104 2010-12-23 10:20:25
- Bishop of Briggs
- Member
- Posts: 3948
Re: Joke of the Day
There was once a great czar in Russia named Rudolph the Red. He stood looking out the windows of is palace one day while his wife, the Czarina Katerina, sat nearby knitting. He turned to her and said, "Look my dear, it has begun to rain!" Without even looking up from her knitting she replied, "It's too cold to rain. It must be sleeting." The Czar shook his head and said, "I am the Czar of all the Russias, and Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
Who inspects Santa's sleigh on Christmas Eve? Elf 'n Safety!
Contrary to lies of FNB and Woofboxer, I (and most of the other "Buff Bastards") have been banned from posting on this forum. There are only a few posters left so don't waste your time on here. This forum is dead and nobody cares.
#105 2010-12-23 10:25:39
- Bishop of Briggs
- Member
- Posts: 3948
Re: Joke of the Day
A guy was driving down the motorway with his girlfriend when she said "I think those people in the car next to us are from Wales". "Why is that?" he said. "Well, the kids are writing on the window and it says 'ynnaf ro stit ruoy su wohs".
Contrary to lies of FNB and Woofboxer, I (and most of the other "Buff Bastards") have been banned from posting on this forum. There are only a few posters left so don't waste your time on here. This forum is dead and nobody cares.
#106 2011-03-21 11:10:09
- Big Tony
- Member
- Posts: 5478
Re: Joke of the Day
"What sort of post-apocalyptic deathscape is this?"
"I don't want to look like a cock hungry sailor after all !!!"
"When it comes to infidelity, broken families, and reckless fatherhood, the underclass are amateurs."
#107 2011-03-21 12:49:39
- Bishop of Briggs
- Member
- Posts: 3948
Re: Joke of the Day
My mate's just opened a pub in Sendai, Japan. Business was very shaky at first but now the customers are flooding in.
Contrary to lies of FNB and Woofboxer, I (and most of the other "Buff Bastards") have been banned from posting on this forum. There are only a few posters left so don't waste your time on here. This forum is dead and nobody cares.
#108 2011-03-21 15:15:09
- Big Tony
- Member
- Posts: 5478
Re: Joke of the Day
"What sort of post-apocalyptic deathscape is this?"
"I don't want to look like a cock hungry sailor after all !!!"
"When it comes to infidelity, broken families, and reckless fatherhood, the underclass are amateurs."
#109 2011-03-28 15:56:10
- Big Tony
- Member
- Posts: 5478
Re: Joke of the Day
"What sort of post-apocalyptic deathscape is this?"
"I don't want to look like a cock hungry sailor after all !!!"
"When it comes to infidelity, broken families, and reckless fatherhood, the underclass are amateurs."
#110 2011-03-30 03:09:08
#111 2011-04-01 10:30:30
- Big Tony
- Member
- Posts: 5478
Re: Joke of the Day
"What sort of post-apocalyptic deathscape is this?"
"I don't want to look like a cock hungry sailor after all !!!"
"When it comes to infidelity, broken families, and reckless fatherhood, the underclass are amateurs."
#112 2011-04-09 05:46:22
#113 2011-04-09 15:17:49
- Grossgrain Silk
- Member
- From: The Inner Bar
- Posts: 877
Re: Joke of the Day
Man goes to the doctor with a piece of lettuce stuck up his arse. The doctor takes one look and says "I know what's wrong with you". The bloke is hugely impressed and says, "what's my problem doc".
Doctor: "you're not eating properly".
#114 2011-05-01 09:26:49
- Big Tony
- Member
- Posts: 5478
Re: Joke of the Day
Robin Williams has a new play, here's a quote from an interview:
Q: The play's about Iraq. Does your appearance reflect any personal feelings about the war?
A: The last time I was in Iraq I stayed in Uday's hunting lodge, although the only thing he hunted was Russian hookers.
"What sort of post-apocalyptic deathscape is this?"
"I don't want to look like a cock hungry sailor after all !!!"
"When it comes to infidelity, broken families, and reckless fatherhood, the underclass are amateurs."
#115 2011-05-19 10:34:33
- Big Tony
- Member
- Posts: 5478
Re: Joke of the Day
"What sort of post-apocalyptic deathscape is this?"
"I don't want to look like a cock hungry sailor after all !!!"
"When it comes to infidelity, broken families, and reckless fatherhood, the underclass are amateurs."
#116 2011-05-19 10:35:34
- Big Tony
- Member
- Posts: 5478
Re: Joke of the Day
"What sort of post-apocalyptic deathscape is this?"
"I don't want to look like a cock hungry sailor after all !!!"
"When it comes to infidelity, broken families, and reckless fatherhood, the underclass are amateurs."
#117 2011-06-30 10:38:27
- Big Tony
- Member
- Posts: 5478
Re: Joke of the Day
"What sort of post-apocalyptic deathscape is this?"
"I don't want to look like a cock hungry sailor after all !!!"
"When it comes to infidelity, broken families, and reckless fatherhood, the underclass are amateurs."
#118 2011-07-14 09:47:37
- Big Tony
- Member
- Posts: 5478
Re: Joke of the Day
A small zoo in Tennessee obtained a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Billy-Bob Walton, a local redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Like most rednecks, Billy-Bob had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Billy-Bob was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?
Billy-Bob showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions.
"First", Billy-Bob said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Zoo Keeper quickly agreed to this condition
"Second", he said, "You can't never tell no one ‘bout this." The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
"Third", Billy-Bob said, "If she gets with child, they gotta be raised Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed.
And last, Billy-Bob said, "I'll need another week to come up with the $500.00!
"What sort of post-apocalyptic deathscape is this?"
"I don't want to look like a cock hungry sailor after all !!!"
"When it comes to infidelity, broken families, and reckless fatherhood, the underclass are amateurs."
#119 2011-07-14 10:26:02
- Bishop of Briggs
- Member
- Posts: 3948
Re: Joke of the Day
A man goes into the Pharmacy and said, "I need some medicine please"
The assistant asked "What for?"
He said hoarsely, "For Cough"
She replied 'F*ck off yourself you cheeky monkey".
Contrary to lies of FNB and Woofboxer, I (and most of the other "Buff Bastards") have been banned from posting on this forum. There are only a few posters left so don't waste your time on here. This forum is dead and nobody cares.
#120 2011-07-14 10:27:37
- Bishop of Briggs
- Member
- Posts: 3948
Re: Joke of the Day
Husband and wife before marriage.
Husband - Aaah! ...At last!
Wife - Do you want me to leave?
Husband - No!
Wife - Do you love me?
Husband - Of course!
Wife - Have you ever cheated on me?
Husband - No!
Wife - Will you kiss me?
Husband - Every chance I get!
Wife - Will you hit me?
Husband - Hell no!
Wife - Can I trust you?
Husband - Yes.
Wife - Darling!
After marriage: read from bottom to top.
Contrary to lies of FNB and Woofboxer, I (and most of the other "Buff Bastards") have been banned from posting on this forum. There are only a few posters left so don't waste your time on here. This forum is dead and nobody cares.
#121 2011-07-14 10:35:08
- Bishop of Briggs
- Member
- Posts: 3948
Re: Joke of the Day
An elderly couple met for sex in the broom closet at the nursing home.
They undressed and were about to get it on when the elderly woman decided to warn the man of her heart condition.
"I should tell you, I have acute angina" she said.
The man replied, "that's good because you have the ugliest breasts I ever seen!"
Contrary to lies of FNB and Woofboxer, I (and most of the other "Buff Bastards") have been banned from posting on this forum. There are only a few posters left so don't waste your time on here. This forum is dead and nobody cares.
#122 2011-07-14 16:00:28
- Bishop of Briggs
- Member
- Posts: 3948
Re: Joke of the Day
A girl walked into a bar and asked for a double entendre so the barman gave her one...
Contrary to lies of FNB and Woofboxer, I (and most of the other "Buff Bastards") have been banned from posting on this forum. There are only a few posters left so don't waste your time on here. This forum is dead and nobody cares.
#123 2011-07-14 16:49:06
- NJS
- Member
- Posts: 2358
Re: Joke of the Day
It begins when she sinks in his arms and ends with her arms in his sink.
#124 2011-07-14 21:24:25
- Saint
- Member
- Posts: 87
Re: Joke of the Day
The theme song of Styleforum.net, menswear:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu17HNXfsTM
The theme song of Denim & Streetwear (putting on a pair of jeans is serious business!):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbJH6i_NaHA
I think it's been done before, but it was good enough to mention again... The theme song of AAAC (in the most patronizing way, of course):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JyQOsN3DuI
#125 2011-07-15 07:21:52
- Big Tony
- Member
- Posts: 5478
Re: Joke of the Day
lol great stuff guys
*****
what's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead lawyer on the road?
the dead dog has skid marks in front of it
"What sort of post-apocalyptic deathscape is this?"
"I don't want to look like a cock hungry sailor after all !!!"
"When it comes to infidelity, broken families, and reckless fatherhood, the underclass are amateurs."