"Bury a Quaker" - to defecate.
I'm enjoying this!! It is throwing up many great ones that I have never heard. Yo!
'...tighter than a gnats chuff...' a miserly person.
'...trying to polish a turd into a shitcart...' attempting to rectify the un-rectifiable.
'...looks like a bulldog chewing a wasp...' a very ugly person
'...would frighten a police horse a fifty yards...' an even uglier person
'...dryer than a nuns crotch...' Very thirsty.
mouth like the bottom of the budgie's cage
= part description of a hangover
"I think I'll go and point Percy at the porcelain"
"Shake hands with the unemployed"
"Shake hands with the wife's best friend"
"Drain the spuds"
= take a leak
On entering the workplace pissoir and seeing others there - "aaah - so this is where the big knobs hang out"
Tighter than a fish's arse swimming upstream backwards in the middle of winter
Deep pockets short arms
Parsimony seems a particular object of derision and scorn: rightly so! Short of major defects, such as cannibalism; paedophilia; robbing the poor etc. - what is a less attractive attribute of any human being that tight-fistedness?
Colder than a witch's tit
He's as useless as a tit on a bull -grandpa's
Has a piano on his back- we used to use this one in baseball. Actually in all sports. For those who couldn't run fast (enough).
A variation on the aunt-uncle one that I know is " 'Balls!' said the Queen, 'if I had two I'd be King!'"
Can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.
Rode hard and put up wet.
That dog won't hunt.
Queer the pitch
Useless (or "happy") as a two peckered billy goat
Couldn't hit the broad size of a barn with a bazooka
Beaten like a red-headed step-child (or "rented goalie")
Nuttier than a fruitcake
Rare as hen's teeth
like a bat out of hell
horny as a toad
like water off a duck's back
like white on rice
drunk as a skunk/lord
that's Greek to me
Can o' corn
bird in the hand's worth two in the bush
gettin' down to brass tacks
Dang.
he has a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock
a stubby short of a six pack
a few bob short of the full quid
The lights might be on upstairs but there's nobody home
Of redheads:
If the roof's on fire, the cellar's damp
Of homely but game chicks:
Who looks at the mantelpiece when they're stoking the fire?
Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier
Not the sharpest knife in the toolshed
Idiot Box = t.v.
Not playing with a full deck
Last edited by Coolidge (2011-05-13 06:23:47)