The math does work. Guess I am just concerned about her reaction. But then I don't really lose anything if it is bad. I'd just rather not be thought of as a creep coming after the ex's friends.

Is it ok to facebook message such a thing these days? I don't know her personal number, and I'd hate to call her work to do this.

Typical Manhattan office job. No way I can just pop in. Actually I could, but it would be rather weird. Plus, everyone there would know me as ex's ex-boyfriend. I'm figuring if she does have interest that she will not want to broadcast the fact to her co-workers.

Thanks for the encouragement, though.

My female friend at work said don't do it...lol. She thought it would be bad to get tied back to the ex in anyway, and just leave it alone. I didn't like that answer so I came here.

Just contact her.  Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead, batten down the hatches, and all that jazz.  You only live once, twice if you're Christian.

JR - whats the problem? - Are you after a long term relationship, a quick one night poke or a catch up with a friend?

ratchet down a long way bro. Ask her out for a coffe and a meal - no DATE.

Tell her you are lonely and sexually frustrated and does she know anyone who might be interested in either a quick fuck or a chat or both - or even better a long fuck and for a few weeks worth.


Then sit back and wait while she tells your ex on facebook.

Just go see her or contact her and ask to spend some time with her.  I wouldn't say anything about the ex or mention anything about it being awkward. Just ask her out.  She says no, oh well. Chin up and go home and jank it.  If she does say yes, the ex will inevitably come up. Just try to not to trash her and talk badly about her to the new girl.  That will make you look really good.  And if she's no longer friends with the ex, she may actually start spilling about her. But still maintain noble composure.

Last edited by Worried Man (2013-07-29 19:48:32)

I date a lot.

I havent dated an exes friend but you need her personal number for this move.

It would be smart to ask several other women out too.

Anyway, treat her like any other woman.

It would be better to get her mobile phone to text her but if you need a shortcut, send her a facebook message, asking if there's any reason you shouldn't have coffee?

Women almost always know the score. She will let you know.

Dont qualify it, and dont apologize or explain.

Trust me, we are all "the enemy".

How do you meet women on the subway or the street? I couldn't begin to think of what to say. I'm not a dullard, but I feel like most are so guarded out there and I would just be a nuisance.

Just grab her earphones off her head and ask her what she's listening to.  Perhaps you could ask her opinion of whether or not your outfit is "Ivy".

^haha

Well, I'm definitely no ladies' man.  I was terrified of talking to girls for a long time.  Just before I got into my current relationship, I had started to come out of my shell a bit and it was starting to work for me.  I just started telling myself "Fuck it.  The worst she can say is no and then soon enough you'll be at home eating a pizza or something and you won't give a shit." 

Have you thought about one of those dating sites?  I think the stigma surrounding those is falling by the wayside.  Might be worth a shot.  Or, do you play an instrument (besides the skin flute)?  If so, you could start a band.  I'll say this from experience... chicks love a musician.  Well, that is, until they actually start trying to maintain a relationship with one.  Buy a nice sparkly drum set, sit in on a few jazz gigs or something where you can wear a suit, get up there on stage and show everyone how it's done.  Works a charm.   See avatar.

Last edited by Worried Man (2013-07-30 17:59:36)

Listen to FNB Jeff. That's solid advice he's dishing out.

Never be afraid to talk to women, what's the worse that can happen? Get stuck in!