Film Noir Buff Style Forum / ASK FNB!

jack_sparrow · 2007-08-16 05:22:28

Last edited by jack_sparrow (2007-08-16 05:24:44)

jack_sparrow · 2007-08-16 05:28:05

For Anthony Andrews, if he's reading:

Winter: http://www.eliznik.org.uk/RomaniaPortul/photos/hat_sibiu2.htm

Summer: http://www.eliznik.org.uk/RomaniaPortul/photos/hat_straw2.htm

jack_sparrow · 2007-08-16 05:43:31

In this shot Anthony has very cleverly brushed up his hair to make himself appear much taller:

http://www.poster.net/andrews-anthony/andrews-anthony-photo-anthony-andrews-6234524.jpg

I often achieve the same effect by wearing a padded yarmulke (and nobody suspects a thing).

http://www.a-zara.com/pe--143-14302-5429.htm

(Sale now on!)

jack_sparrow · 2007-08-16 05:45:15

This I will wear to Edinburgh so as to blend in:

http://www.a-zara.com/pe-Tartan-180-18000-4821.htm

jack_sparrow · 2007-08-16 05:46:47

Preppy:

http://www.a-zara.com/pe-Tartan-180-18000-5246.htm

jack_sparrow · 2007-08-16 05:48:28

Freaky style for clubbing:

http://www.a-zara.com/pe-Various+Kipot-147-14700-5214.htm

jack_sparrow · 2007-08-16 05:56:47

What time is it?

http://www.a-zara.com/pe--72-7200-1925.htm

Time to kvel!

jack_sparrow · 2007-08-16 06:14:55

Enough!

http://www.a-zara.com/pe-Street+%26+Car+Plates-70-7000-3808.htm

BraceBack Mountain · 2007-08-16 07:24:33

Dear FNB,

I want to post here but your forum only has threads bashing the members of other clothing forums. After that, there is nothing much of interest that cannot be found on the other forums. Please, shut your forum down so we can all get back to the interesting topics you mock on a daily basis.

Yours sartorially,

Whoam I. Kidding

jack_sparrow · 2007-08-16 07:35:17

Dear FNB,

I believe in dressing for success. Would a wing collar go OK with my UPS uniform?

Sartorious Rex.

jack_sparrow · 2007-08-16 07:52:31

Dear FNB,

I recently ruined a pair of these by trying to wear them on my feet:

http://www.woodsofshropshire.co.uk/shop/mens-accessories/gloves-by-dents/shooting-gloves-from-dents?view=zoom

Where do I stand legally?

Sartorious Rex.

Last edited by jack_sparrow (2007-08-16 07:54:08)

jack_sparrow · 2007-08-16 08:12:11

Dear FNB,

Which is the best Jackson?

Micheal,
Andrew,
Mahalia,
Milt,
Kate,
Stonewall,
Jesse,
Glenda,
Samuel L.,
Randy,
Charles Loring,
Jackson Pollock,
Or Jackson, Mississippi?

eg · 2007-08-16 08:21:29

jack_sparrow · 2007-08-16 08:31:27

Dear FNB,

How can I have RTW altered to make it bespoke?

Will Nino do this for me if I mention your name?

Twin Six · 2007-08-16 08:35:59

jack_sparrow · 2007-08-16 08:42:36

Dear FNB,

Here's a tip I'd like to share with the forum:

If you sew up the legs of your old boxer shorts you can wear them on your head as an off-beat Summer hat which is bound to be a conversation starter at The Club.
I've been doing this for years & the waiters never forget my name.

Twin Six · 2007-08-16 09:00:32

They commonly refer to his wife as "poor Mrs. Sparrow."

jack_sparrow · 2007-08-16 09:09:59

Dear FNB,

Here's a tip which could save forum members quite a bit of money:

Whenever you go swimming always check all the other locker doors around your's to see if they're shut properly.
By simply doing this over the years I have managed to secure quite a wardrobe of up-scale timepieces from many of the top names.
I hate to think what my watches might have cost if I'd been forced to 'go retail'!

Twin Six · 2007-08-16 09:14:12

He's cheated certain worthy scavengers from other fora out of a great deal of "honestly acquired" swag.

jsprowls9 · 2007-08-16 09:32:44

jack_sparrow · 2007-08-16 09:58:47

Dear FNB,

My platinum Oyster Perpetual Day-Date Rolex keps catching on the cuff of my new Brioni blazer. Should I get some long sleeve shirts to stop this happening?

Sartorious Rex.

The_Shooman · 2007-08-16 10:43:28

(serious post)

Dear FNB;

1. When a person clicks in their own thread, does it increase the number of views?

2. When you delete a post, does that persons post count go down?

3. How many members do we have here?

4. How many people have been banned?

5. Any big names from other forums post here under an alias?

Last edited by The_Shooman (2007-08-16 13:35:13)

Cruz Diez · 2007-08-16 13:14:56

Dear egregious Mr. FNB,

I just noticed that the yolks of my online bespoke shirts are not split and that the yolk-to-shoulder pattern matching is shifted by 2 mm. To add insult to injury, I found that the buttons are not made of Australian mother of pearl and that their attachments aren't shanked. According to the Internet Experts, the elements I mentioned are the ultimate indicators of shirt quality. I feel I've been deceived and robbed by my shirtmaker. Should I file a charge back with my CC company? I eagerly await for your reply.

With thanks,

#1000343 on the wait list.

AQG · 2007-08-16 17:21:21

Mon Cher FNB,

I recently received a pair of AE Mora. Microscopic inspection of the box reveals that everything, i.e. two shoes, two shoe bags and labeled box, was present with the conspicuous exception of extra laces. Should I write a very strongly worded letter to the company?

Yours in Christ,

AQG

Coolidge · 2007-08-16 20:20:08

Dear FNB

I have a sweating problem that causes yellow stains to form on all my white shirts. What should I do? Also, is sweating trad?

Pip pip old froth,

Cooly

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