What would you ban, what would you make mandatory?
Banning
Wide, black belts with square silver buckles.
Metal equestrian oddments on shoes.
Jacket shoulders that extend past the natural line.
Low two button closure sports jackets
Enforcing
Trousers that do not cling to the leg.
Rises no lower than 1 inch under navel
Socks to be worn with formal footwear
Just realised banning and enforcing a ban are basically the same thing.
Sneaker prohibition as above. Uggs and Crocs included.
No visible writing or branding on clothing except for uniforms and other functional purposes.
T-shirts shall be underwear and not worn in public.
Elastic waistbands must no be visible.
Anyone wearing a suit must wear accompanying neckwear.
No puffy jackets.
No untucked shirts in public.
A tie knot must be able to be covered by no more than three fingers.
Yeah, definitely ban the sneakers and sportswear outwide of sport. Also put strict conditions on the limiting of rubber soled footwear also. Also ban cheap cut dress shirts and polyestor ties. Also make it so every man's footwear has the soles stitched on.
I will continue to wear my rubber with pride, and maintain a minimal amount of trips, sprains and breakages.
The only thing I think people deserve to be kicked to death for is wearing a pullover draped over their shoulders.
I'm cool with everything else.
When I become captain of the town, I will extend asylum to certain citizens who are persona non grata on the other sartorial forums, but amongst the first diktats I will be imposing as I erect the guillotine:
1. Banning of all travelling itinerant maestro tie-makers and tailors from Naples. In the hierarchy of needs, before the indulgence of expensive bespoke tailoring and getting self-actualized, one
must first learn how to dispose of household waste effectively, by developing a professional and regular garbage disposal service i.e. known as bin-men in the UK. And don't think that
disposing of dioxins, agent orange and genetically modified triffids in the local municipal refuse tip gives you a get-out of jail card for gratis.
2. Banning of the non-shoe/pretend shoe that is the mimosa and jute constructed monstrosity that pretends to be all things to all men and can be purchased in abundance on the internet shoe-
shops and has reached its zenith in the ecco brand. You might think you have found a unique, cheap and cheery way of cheating all rules of gentlemanly decorum and taste, but
we know who you are, your cards are marked and your name is on the list of known deviants.
3. Banning of Rolex Submariners: nothing says I am corruptible, open to bribes, a bonafide con artist and whore-master than the chunky presence of the latter day Rolex Submariner. Those who
have forked out a couple of grand extra for the not-so limited edition green bezel version will have their assets frozen for scrutiny by the Committee of Public Safety.
4. Banning of the indecency of wearing tailored jackets that are based on the Pee Wee Herman shrink-to-fit and wasp-waist construction technique, except as part of any vibrant and consensual
BDSM scene.
I will think of some more later, after I've had some rumbullion.
NO flip-flops unless within 100yds of a body of water.
Shorts, if allowed at all, must not extend beyond the knee.
The tops of socks must not be seen. Those little socks that show the ankle warrant a Siberian vacation.
Doghouse and Stanshall converted me to to flops.
Ban:
Anything worn/endorsed by Jeremy Clarkson
Enforce:
If the invite says 'black tie' then wear black tie, not an open neck shirt (end of rant).
Dry cleaning is any cleaning process for clothing and textiles using a chemical solvent other than water,The solvent used is typically tetrachloroethylene which the industry calls "perc".
Last edited by chatsworth osborne jr. (2014-05-22 07:23:26)
So far I agree with most of the proscriptions. However, the trouble with threads like this is that, as they progress, I find almost my entire wardrobe on somebody or another's shit list.
Good to hear I'm not the only one then
What's the forum stance on horsebit loafers? They get a nod of approval in The Ivy Look (although the text is a staright cut and paste from TOPH iirc). I rather like them, but I expect most on here to hate them.
First, statements (at least from me, and I suspect most others) like "hate" are hyperbolic. In reality I don't care enough about what people are wearing to elicit a change in emotional state. I do scoff a lot. I do think many people look either slovenly or ridiculous. I also think there seems to be a desperate need for men (mostly) to appear common. T-shirt, jeans, sneakers - check, check, and check. It's the uniform of the day, and I don't quite get why and I suspect they don't either. Maybe it is just a conformity thing. Maybe it is a desire to look like you don't care. I don't really care enough to find out.
Second, horsebits, I don't have any. I don't want any. But I don't have an aversion to them unless they are of the garish variety. I also don't care for them when worn with suits, which I see often enough. But a traditional horsebit loafer with a suit is far better in my eyes than plastic oxfords.
We all have, I am sure, recognized that certain trends are in the air right now. Those orangeish-looking shoes with navy suits. I am no supporter of the look as a matter of aesthetics, but as a matter of social identity, I love them. I can now spot some douchebags from a distance of 100 feet. This is valuable. I never want trends, GQ, or Men's Health to go away.