I must apologize profoundly for the discomfiting solecisms of my lab partner but he did not have the benefit of an all-male education at Hampden-Sydney College for young gentlemen, choosing instead to attend a Yankee school notorious as a veritable incubator of ruffians and reprobates, a place where all the graces are irretrievably lost as soon as one sets foot upon the innocently named but parlous "Old Campus," where he strayed from the path of honor, dignity and the venerable traditions and instead occupied himself with the so-called music of a group of irresponsible, ragtag San Franciscans who themselves flouted all accepted codes of moral decency.

Dearest and most honourable and esteemed Mr. Incognito,
Doeth not every one wear a full suit of clothing at all times when not bathing, sleeping, or fornicating?  I presume the modern laborer must wear work clothing such as dungarees whilst going through their menial drudgery, but surely they return to proper finery afterward?
I will be mowing the lawn, walking the dog, cleaning the gutters, and then resting in a hammock today.  I will be in a three piece bespoke flannel suit with bow tie and fedora.  I do these chores around my estate for novelty and to show the lower classes that they are not needed.  I could easily pay to have my army of servants do these tasks.  Besides, the saved money means that I get to buy even more shoes!
Praytell, the postman is wearing some awful shoe with a cemented rubber sole.  I must catch him and explain the wonder of hand-welting.

Toodles