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#1 2015-10-28 03:59:28
- 4F Hepcat
- THE Cat
- Posts: 14333
Country Life's 39 Steps To Being A Modern Gentleman
Somewhat obvious to the point of being idiotic, mixed in with some aspirational la-de-bloody-da fantasies written by a rather refined and delicate lady methinks:
1. Negotiates airports with ease
2. Never lets a door slam in someone's face
3. Can train a dog and a rose
4. Is aware that facial hair is temporary, but a tattoo is permanent
5. Knows when not to say anything
6. Wears his learning lightly
7. Possesses at least one well-made dark suit, one tweed suit, and a dinner jacket
8. Avoids lilac socks and polishes his shoes
9. Turns his mobile phone to silent at dinner
10. Carries house guests' luggage to their rooms
11. Tips staff in a private house and a gamekeeper
12. Says his name when being introduced
13. Breaks a relationship face to face
14. Is unafraid to speak the truth
15. Knows when to clap
16. Arrives at a meeting five minutes before the agreed time
17. Is good with waiters
18. Has two tricks to entertain children
19. Can undo a bra with one hand
20. Sings lustily in church
21. Is not vegetarian
22. Can sail a boat and ride a horse
23. Knows the difference between Glenfiddich and Glenda Jackson
24. Never kisses and tells
25. Cooks an omlette to die for
26. Can prepare a one-match bonfire
27. Seeks out his hostess at a party
28. Knows when to use an emoji
39. Would never own a Chihuahua
30. Has read Pride and Prejudice
31. Can tie his own bow tie
32. Would not go to Puerto Rico
33. Knows the difference between a rook and a crow
34. Sandals? No. Never
35. Wears a rose, not a carnation
36. Swats flies and rescues spiders
37. Demonstrates that making love is neither a race nor a competition
38. Never blow dries his hair
39. Knows that there is always an exception to a rule
Vibe-Rations in Spectra-Sonic-Sound
#2 2015-10-28 04:07:05
- Moose Maclennan
- Ivy Inspiration
- From: Hernando's Hideaway
- Posts: 4577
Re: Country Life's 39 Steps To Being A Modern Gentleman
40. Would never read Country Life
#4 2015-10-28 05:07:42
- TheExpandingMan
- Member
- Posts: 841
Re: Country Life's 39 Steps To Being A Modern Gentleman
I think I can hear Robert Heinlein spinning in his grave.
#5 2015-10-28 05:26:58
- doghouse
- Member
- Posts: 5147
Re: Country Life's 39 Steps To Being A Modern Gentleman
39 steps? That sounds like a lot of work.
Hide thy infants, hide thy Lady, and hide thy husband, alas they art forcing sexual intercourse upon the entire populace. - Wm Shakespeare
#6 2015-10-28 05:52:10
- chatsworth osborne jr.
- Member
- Posts: 738
Re: Country Life's 39 Steps To Being A Modern Gentleman
3. How does one train a rose?
8. What's wrong with lilac socks?
28. Never, right? When to use an emoji is never.
32. Puerto Rico is the one nation that is off limits???
#7 2015-10-28 09:44:24
- Moose Maclennan
- Ivy Inspiration
- From: Hernando's Hideaway
- Posts: 4577
Re: Country Life's 39 Steps To Being A Modern Gentleman
The fact that this is presented as steps (implying a progression and consecutive mastery of each) makes it all the more worrying that number 12 is being able to say your name.
#8 2015-10-28 09:58:08
- 4F Hepcat
- THE Cat
- Posts: 14333
Re: Country Life's 39 Steps To Being A Modern Gentleman
It's clearly written by a very innocent lady, likely a single mother now and who has experienced a torrid time in an airport whilst on an all inclusive package deal to the Caribbean.
Still, one always tips the servants when staying in drafty stately homes, if you can find one that isn't owned by The National Trust or turned into a safari park.
I am surprised always wearing Viyella shirts didn't make it to the list.
Vibe-Rations in Spectra-Sonic-Sound
#9 2015-10-28 10:10:22
- stanshall
- Member
- From: Gilligan's Island
- Posts: 12991
Re: Country Life's 39 Steps To Being A Modern Gentleman
/\ what a crock of shit
"bow wow wow yippie yo yippie yay"
#10 2015-10-28 11:37:59
- Jeff Reed
- Member
- From: Brooklyn, New York
- Posts: 991
Re: Country Life's 39 Steps To Being A Modern Gentleman
These lists are popping up all over. There was some how to be a modern man drivel a few weeks ago in the NY Times that got a lot of responses---mostly negative it would seem. It's just bizarre that these are even written. Odd that men get most of the attention. Do we need these affirmations/instructions/comparative tools? I haven't met a man who gives a damn. Would it be a point of pride to check off every item on such a list? To whom is one to brag? Certainly not male friends (see number 5 above).
Sorry, atheists, Muslims, Jews, Puerto Ricans and mute people. You do not measure up.
Is there really such anxiety out there that there is a demand for these lists? I just don't believe it. I think they're trolling.
#11 2015-10-28 12:29:06
- formby1
- Member
- From: Hauteur Extraordinaire
- Posts: 1039
Re: Country Life's 39 Steps To Being A Modern Gentleman
The response to these kinds of lists should always be utter derision.
"Dressing, like painting, should have a residual stability, plus punctuation and surprise." - Richard Merkin
Souvent me Souvient
#12 2015-10-28 12:32:22
- formby1
- Member
- From: Hauteur Extraordinaire
- Posts: 1039
Re: Country Life's 39 Steps To Being A Modern Gentleman
"Dressing, like painting, should have a residual stability, plus punctuation and surprise." - Richard Merkin
Souvent me Souvient
#13 2015-10-28 13:15:31
- 4F Hepcat
- THE Cat
- Posts: 14333
Re: Country Life's 39 Steps To Being A Modern Gentleman
Vibe-Rations in Spectra-Sonic-Sound
#14 2015-10-28 13:17:22
- Worried Man
- Member
- From: Davebrubeckistan
- Posts: 15988
Re: Country Life's 39 Steps To Being A Modern Gentleman
If we were to expand this list to say, 100 steps, where would weaning oneself from eating one's own boogers fall?
"We close our sto' at a reasonable hour because we figure anybody who would want one of our suits has got time to stroll over here in the daytime." - VP of George Muse Clothing, Atlanta, 1955
#15 2015-10-28 13:31:05
- 4F Hepcat
- THE Cat
- Posts: 14333
Re: Country Life's 39 Steps To Being A Modern Gentleman
Vibe-Rations in Spectra-Sonic-Sound
#16 2015-10-28 14:16:19
- doghouse
- Member
- Posts: 5147
Re: Country Life's 39 Steps To Being A Modern Gentleman
Hide thy infants, hide thy Lady, and hide thy husband, alas they art forcing sexual intercourse upon the entire populace. - Wm Shakespeare
#18 2015-10-28 15:04:39
- Bop
- Member
- Posts: 7661
Re: Country Life's 39 Steps To Being A Modern Gentleman
Last edited by Bop (2015-10-28 16:23:10)
#19 2015-10-28 15:41:26
- formby1
- Member
- From: Hauteur Extraordinaire
- Posts: 1039
Re: Country Life's 39 Steps To Being A Modern Gentleman
"Dressing, like painting, should have a residual stability, plus punctuation and surprise." - Richard Merkin
Souvent me Souvient
#20 2015-10-28 15:56:07
- Kingston1an
- Member
- Posts: 4187
Re: Country Life's 39 Steps To Being A Modern Gentleman
Just a filler article for a magazine. Nothing more. Lists are great fillers.
"Florid, smug, middle-aged golf club bore in this country I'd say. Propping up the 19th hole in deepest Surrey bemoaning the perils of immigration."
#21 2015-10-29 13:51:16
- Yuca
- Member
- Posts: 8568
Re: Country Life's 39 Steps To Being A Modern Gentleman
One of my ambitions is to go to PR. And I'm more of a gentleman than the moron who wrote this complete garbage.
Last edited by Yuca (2015-10-29 13:51:38)
some sort of banal legitimacy
#22 2015-10-29 13:57:22
- 4F Hepcat
- THE Cat
- Posts: 14333
Re: Country Life's 39 Steps To Being A Modern Gentleman
Vibe-Rations in Spectra-Sonic-Sound
#23 2015-10-29 14:39:26
- Bop
- Member
- Posts: 7661
Re: Country Life's 39 Steps To Being A Modern Gentleman
Im not sure Fogle was in it, but it highlighted a couple of things..1. The aspirations of the noveau riche, and how things like that list above strike a chord with those aspiring to be accepted into the upper classes...and 2. How flat broke some of these old families are...they might have a bit of land and an old house but very little else.
I get to see this first hand, Mrs Bop comes from two of the world's largest banking families from the late 1800s and early 20th century who married into the upper classes during this period, hence the peerage listing in Debrett's.
After the money goes off to the first born and a few descendents decide to live off the family money their whole lives or become the black sheep and not work there is sod all left after a couple of generations...however the standing and past glories are lapped up in social circles..because of where these people came from. Its a bit weird but breeding does carry a legacy that money can't buy and always appears to be respected. The reason people try and learn the etiquette is because it's a club, and you will stand out like a saw thumb if you're an outsider. I turn up in a jacket, clean shoes, kiss on each cheek, and hope a neutral Buckinghamshire accent doesn't give me away. It's a strange old world which I get to see and other than the artists and intellectuals that inhabit it the rest is BS and hot air, money does certainly get people there but the breeding is the trump card even if you're hard up.
#24 2015-10-29 17:12:04
- doghouse
- Member
- Posts: 5147
Re: Country Life's 39 Steps To Being A Modern Gentleman
Hide thy infants, hide thy Lady, and hide thy husband, alas they art forcing sexual intercourse upon the entire populace. - Wm Shakespeare
#25 2015-10-29 19:58:41
- captainpreppy
- Member
- Posts: 1536
Re: Country Life's 39 Steps To Being A Modern Gentleman
I scored 24 out of 39, which doesn't make me much of a modern gentleman, I guess. A lot of it is obviously very Anglo-centric. For example, we have neither rooks nor gamekeepers here in the States. I believe that it is quite impossible to negotiate certain airports (e.g., LAX) "with ease." Wearing a rose in one's lapel strikes me as very "florid," to make a bad pun.
Last edited by captainpreppy (2015-10-29 20:00:31)