Ostentatious cufflinks would be off, regardless of the presence of a jacket, but mine are very low key and do provide a tiny amount of much-needed colour.

I found this online which seems to be well-considered: http://www.gentlemansgazette.com/funeral-etiquette-clothes-thank-you-cards-flowers/

I notice he says that the tie does not need to be black for those outside close family to the deceased, which I may put into action as my outfit is possibly too colourless. (Not that it matters much.)

Thanks to all for the advice.

(I should have added a summary unprompted:) I went for my slightly too small suit plus the cufflinked shirt. The funeral was absolutely jam-packed, with dress ranging from scruffy to smart, plus lots of people in Ethiopian style dress (it was a Rasta funeral). My main self criticism was the footwear: I really would have felt better with captoes or similar. Plus I need to cut down on the deep fried Mars Bars.

The funeral went from 11.30am to past 8.30pm, which was a little longer than I had anticipated - ok, it was a lot longer than I had anticipated (my first Caribbean style funeral so maybe that's normal for them). It was certainly an interesting experience.

It is so rare that I have to wear attire this formal that I'm just not ready for it really, but my attire was passable. Grey tweed and flannels would have been a mistake but not a disaster.

In the end I didn't change any of my original plans so perhaps this whole thread was pointless, but it was good to get some second opinions.

Last edited by Yuca (2015-11-22 03:30:07)

Don't know and of course I have no way of knowing. However as I was present for 9 hours in 2 different locations, to have failed to make an effort with my clothing would have been very poor form. Whether or not my sartorial codes were the norm is irrelevant. (And there were plenty of people in 'Western' clothes, for want of a better term.)

Well, you know us

^So men in the UK, are still in that 90s fashion of not tucking their shirts in to hide their beer bellies?

The point Formby was making and I thoroughly concur with, is that it is possible to dress extremely well on a budget. You need neither Johnny Lobby Paris or a Rolex Oyster Daytona to be the vortex of attention, or the alpha male incarnate.

As you have stated, it was a Rasta funeral, so I personally would not have dressed in a suit or a shirt with cufflinks - necessarily.

Good dressing is never stuffy or old fashioned.

The point is Yuca, why should you care?

I am 44 too, and I don't give a rat's ass what anyone thinks about me socially. I want to be respected in business and work, liked by my missus and the kids and the rest is pure, er nothing to me. Who cares, seriously? It don't mean much to me now, the time when I use to get a kick out of regaling strangers in bars has past. If someone digs the way I am dressed and makes a comment, then all fine and good, but if not, well, what......nothing.

Who cares about the great unwashed who probably don't shop at M&S because for them, even that is too expensive and out of reach. That's not your fault and nor can you remedy it, or by empathising with them like Corbyn are you to be released from the human condition. It ain't going to happen, accept it, this could be the start of something big!

the suit was a good choice Yuca