One told, I think, by either Keith Waterhouse, Jeffrey Bernard or Alan Watkins. Doesn't matter.
Concerns John Pilger, under heavy fire in somewhere like Beirut, back in the day when it was never out of the news.
Pilger is sheltering beneath a table, bullets flying everywhere, plaster coming off the walls and ceiling in chunks, the crump of mortars in the distance.
Chap crawls toward him... Can he take an urgent 'phone call from London?
Pilger dutifully leaves shelter, gets to 'phone.
'Er, sorry to bother you, John, it's Sharon... would it be all right if I cancelled my dental appointment on Tuesday and made it Thursday instead?'
Alan Bennett, on being introduced to Harold Wilson.
Wilson: 'And who are you? What have you been in?'
Bennett: 'I was in 'Beyond The Fringe', Prime Minister'.
Wilson: 'Well, I don't remember you'.
Bennett (interviewed by Melvyn Bragg): 'I felt like Trotsky must have felt when Stalin cut him out of the Revolution'.
One of my chums was once one of the PM’s bodyguard team. One day he has to meet Cameron who has flown back into the UK from somewhere where the weather is nicer. As DC steps out of the plane he sees that its raining and turns to my mate, who is waiting to walk him to the car, and says a bit snottily ’Oh… don’t you have an umbrella?’ My mate pauses and says out the side of his mouth … ‘Man up Sir’.
LOL! How I loathed Cameron. Nice one, Woof.
Patrick, I think, will have something for us. An excellent raconteur.