I used to have a beard. It was a pretty good beard. Full moustache to chin connection, no sparse areas. I had it for 10 years or so. No complaints.
Then one morning I woke up and decided it had to go.
Well that happened earlier this week -- in regards to the gigantic amount of clothing I own.
I was moving in the direction of less formality anyway, but the pandemic really put the butter on the spinach. Almost everything I cover for my employer, a small weekly newspaper, occurs on line.
And the first rule for successful Zooming is "Turn off the camera." (See "The Strange Case of the Online Onanist," ie. Jeffrey Toobin.)
So I went after the sports jackets, having taken a meat axe to the suit collection a couple years earlier.
The charity shop got about 15, including some perfectly good ones that were just a tad too small, and some failed experiments, such as a Pendleton Topster. (The latter was too clingy, and like a cashmere sweater does not suit those of us who are not constructed in planes and right angles.)
Then the shoes. Good grief. I found shoes lurking in the inner recesses of the closets that I had completely forgotten about, never mind worn.
Goodbye to the elderly Hanovers I kept meaning to have resoled. Toodle-oo to the contemporary Weejuns I bought in a weak moment.
I was similarly ruthless when it came to shirts. Most of it went to said charity shop, which uses the proceeds to help people with medical bills.
The rest went into a big bin thing operated by some outfit that ships used clothing to the deserving poor world wide. They are why you see some kid wearing a San Diego Chargers jersey in a report on crop failures in Uganda.
Now I am down to four suits -- navy, grey flannel, medium grey check, and tan. Plus a seersucker I couldn't bear to part with and an elderly Brooks shawl collar tux because I get so many black tie invitations.
And the sport coat/blazer collection is down to a still outrageous 30 or so.
I will rest now, and ponder.
And in the spring I will do it again.
You might wonder, why not sell them on eBay? Answer: eBay is horrible for selling things. The company itself takes not one but two bites (PayPal is an eBay company). Potential buyers ask insane questions that cannot possibly be answered, such as "If I am 6 foot 3 inches and 900 pounds, will this work for my Labrador retriever?"
And then there are the low-ballers. "Hi -- That jacket looks crappy but I'll give you five bucks for it, and you pay the shipping."
Plus the thing is completely skewed in favor of the buyer. They can just say it's not as described or never arrived and poof! There goes what little cash there was.
I did save a couple of boxes' worth to send to an Ivyist in New Jersey who takes consignments. But that generally works out to breaking even, as the cost of shipping wipes out the modest gains. I just send him good stuff I can't use out of fealty to the Ivy Spirit.
I type this wearing LL Bean lined jeans, a bulky and very warm LL Bean hooded sweatshirt, and a bemused expression.
Great post and I greatly admire your will power.
I used to wear a suit, collar and tie every day for work. I dressed fairly conservatively so everything was pretty classic. Even though I haven't worn a suit or tie in ages I can't bear to throw anything out. I know this is incredibly stupid on my part to hang onto everything.
I'm increasingly scared that the stuff I love won't be manufactured for ever.Oh how I wish I'd bought lots of Made in the US Weejuns.
Last edited by AlveySinger (2021-12-10 07:18:47)
Yes, a great post. Patrick has always been a forum favourite of mine.
Firstly, I agree about Ebay. Stopped selling a few years ago. A fine way to lose money in the long run. I made more selling secondhand books than clothing.
Secondly, I've never owned much in the way of clothing at any one time. Even less now. The 'limited pallet'.
Oh, I've hung onto stuff for a while but in the end it goes.
Clothing, books, CDs, DVDs, even artwork and 'collectibles'.
By coincidence I did something similar earlier this week. Last time I was in the UK was 2 1/2 years ago and I kept hold of a few things that were too small for me in case I went on a fitness kick. Instead I gained weight and now not one of my suits or sacks fits me. But all my shirts still do and so do a few pairs of trousers, so not too bad.
Unlike Patrick I haven't donated anything (yet), instead I'm going to list a few things on here, including:
a 38R 3 piece 60s sack; a 39R 60s sack; a 39R striped 60s wool cashmere sack; 30 waist Lee Japan jeans; and a few pairs of 30 waist chinos.
Staying in the wardrobe are 5 X 50s/60s tweed sacks, 1 X 70s/80s sack suit and a few lightweight suits/jackets that I can't be bothered to count. All will fit me with a little bit of exercise (which I really want to do anyway). Plus an extensive shirt collection, including a yellow and white Makers 6 button candy stripe that I couldn't recall owning. Not my first choice of colour but I like it. My Grenfell trench also still fits, as do 2 Harringtons and other assorted outerwear. And my tie game is very strong. (A shame I never wear them.)
Thirty jackets and four suits is still pretty good.
You will never be in a position where you have nothing to wear.
Hear a woman gasp when you tell her you once owned two dozen pairs of shoes (including desert and chukka boots and sneakers). She'll likely tell you her old man has two pairs before going on - with great originality - to hand you some sound, free advice: 'You can't wear more than one pair at a time'. Same goes for your knickers, love.
I read just the other day that Otis Redding owned four hundred pairs. Jimmy Frost Mellor was supposed to have owned five hundred shirts.
That's getting close to funny farm territory.
As for donating, some of the buggers can be sniffy. They like Ralph Lauren, though, in the way they like 'Fifty Shades Of Grey'. They recognise the name.
I still almost regret giving my spiffy Don Richards coat to some half-awake bint in Hockley.
Oh, I fucked all my ties off to Hepcat years ago in exchange for some books on the American Civil War my father never got to read. Died instead.
There was quite a lively discussion between some of the chappies on 'Dressed Well' about whether I actually existed, was really Jimmy Frost Mellor, or one of his online creations. Hepcat was pretty certain he'd sent the books to Macclesfield... I gained a certain amount of wry satisfaction from their silliness.
Talking of the deserving poor... a pair or two of my spectacles have been donated to Africa... I dread to think who ended up with them... He probably fell head first into the water hole, the unfortunate sod...
You do have a similar writing style to dear old Jim.
Best
K
It’s a terrific post. Really strikes a chord with me.
I’ve kept practically every item clothing I’ve owned in adult life. Apart from the obvious ‘disposables’. T shirts, trainers ect. Or whatever’s naturally bitten the dust. Certainly shirts, knitwear, outerwear, shoes are all still there. Either in rotation, the loft or the garage. A whole wardrobe of largely unworn blazers in my son’s bedroom.
If it’s wearable I’ll keep it.
It hasn’t helped that I’ve hardly changed body shape since I was 16.
A long stint as a painter/decorator did help the natural progression of things. From weekend to work to bin. But not now.
Very occasionally it’s nice to rediscover old things. But on the whole it’s a big waste of space and energy. My wife’s mother is a hoarder. A proper hoarder as seen on TV. It’s no fun.
I suspect I’ll always have a fetish for jackets and coats, but I’ve got to a point now where I’d love to open up my wardrobe and see a small, good quality, well ordered and looked after collection. Blue and white shirts. A few polos. A good pair of Lee’s. Grey flannels. Grey and navy crew necks. Chinos. One pair each Brogues, loafers, db’s and CVOs. That’s all anyone needs right?
But what a wrench to dispose of your collection?
I’d genuinely love it if Patrick updated us in six months time as to whether he’s stuck with it and happy. Or if more stuff ended up sneaking in.
I have never met anyone that posts here in 'real' life so I don't know who's who and what's what but I have also thought that your writing style AFS is close to that of Jim. Are you related?
Not related, no. We never even met, Jim and I, just had some long, aimless talks on the 'phone about online bullshit. He was charm personified, a shameless manipulator, a lost soul and, ultimately, a tragedy waiting to happen. But he loved The Look - no-one more so - and pushed this place along for years.
He was public-school educated, by the way - Rugby - something that bothered me not in the least. I went to a 'bog standard' comprehensive in Derby when it was still just a grubby industrial town with a halfway decent football team.
They still talk about B.C. and A.D. - Before Clough, After Docherty.
Robbie, there is - or has been - the occasional get-together: at Chiltern Street and in various watering holes in Central London. Chaps from here wander round, glass in hand, making tentative enquiries: 'Are you by any chance...?' etc. etc. Woof will tell you more.
I met our Gibson on a couple of brief but memorable occasions. In Soho, then at Chiltern Street. We had a lovely time.
A great post from Patrick. I downsized a few years back and almost immediately regretted doing so. I did however keep lots of clobber and I have good quality stuff that must be 40 years old. Some stuff I will never wear in my lifetime but I keep it 'just in case'. My wife uses the expression 'it might come back in fashion again'
My priorities for thinning out are suits and formal shoes, as with retirement looming (I keep fending it off) most of them won’t be worn again, formal trousers likewise - a couple of pairs are all that will be needed. I have lots of silk neckwear that doesn’t see use as if I do decide to wear a tie now it is almost invariably knitted. But ties don’t take up a lot of room and are quite nice to look at occasionally. Like Spendthrift I would like to reduce to a capsule wardrobe of good quality Ivy clothing, because the amount I have got at the moment bothers me. There are other ways of selling than eBay (who are busy pricing themselves out) but with the best will in the world selling stuff is such an ag. So it gets added to the little list of ‘stuff I will do when I retire’. I’m haunted by the thought that I might keel over and leave it all for my dear Mrs W to deal with. In Sweden there is a phrase ‘death cleaning’ and it is almost expected that once you get into your 60s you will start downsizing and thinning out your possessions to the bare minimum that you need, sparsity in old age is seen as a virtue. Cheery bastards those Swedes. Still, I’m always made feel slightly better about things when I come on places like this and read of collections of 500 shirts. I remember talking to a guy who was working in Drakes about this sort of thing, he fessed up to renting a storage unit to accommodate his excess clothing.
One's children, I suppose, come to look forward to that delightful moment when you tell them they're in for a fifty-fifty split on property and cash. But I vividly recall clearing out my father's house in the early spring of 2012. He'd kept kitchenware from when his mother had died, back in 1966. Some of the clothing and shoes, however, had come from Ralph Lauren, Gap, Nunn Bush, Timberland and elsewhere, so that wasn't too bad as we were the same sizewise. There was also a hidden stash of rather lurid porn, which my wife consigned to the wheelie-bin before I had chance to sample any of it.
Hmmm...I'm 71 and toying with the idea of buying a silk dress shirt from Budd. Seeing as I aready have two fine cotton ones, maybe it's a shirt too far?
Also hand-made but outdated bicycles... state-of-the-art fishing equipment... a hi-fi system that I resold for something close to £8.000... About a thousand-plus jazz records and CDs... A large collection of books on the Napoleonic Wars... And piles and piles of just incredible crap that for some reason he'd hung onto...
I'm definitely with the Swedes.
I doubt if I've owned more than a dozen jackets at any one time. Don't see the point. I'd like to go back about fourteen so years, though, when Makers shirts were coming through from the USA at reasonable prices. That aside, just about enough is surfacing in the UK to keep me content. I have a small list of 'Wants' for the New Year, including some chunkier fisherfolk-type knitwear, some more 501s, a better pair of trainers/sneakers, a couple more v-neck sweatshirts, a couple more Bean flannel shirts. No sacks. Nothing of that nature. Not any longer.
I recounted. I have 24 jackets. Four of them are blazers. Just in case.
Today is rainy and bleak so I am going to take another spin through the shirts and see what can be done about the ties. There are also some shoes -- old boat shoes and superfluous mocs -- that I was saving for a rainy day.
Which it is.
The CD/DVD collection is also completely out of control but I get a curious, Superman-in-the-vicinity-of-Kryptonite feeling when I approach the groaning shelves.
Plus you never know when watching "The Wrestling Women vs. The Aztec Mummy" with the sound off and Amon Duul II's "Experimente" on the stereo is just the ticket for a successful evening.
Last edited by Patrick (2021-12-11 07:31:12)
'Wrestling Women vs. The Aztec Mummy'. That takes me back to my misbegotten youth, searching for copies of 'Famous Monsters' and 'Castle Of Frankenstein' on dusty market stalls. Waiting for the midnight double-bill or, in one instance, setting my alarm so that I could watch Lee and Cushing battle it out in 'Dracula' at three in the morning.
Did Count Yorga sport Ivy, I wonder?