Come on.  Don't be shy.  We all make mistakes.

A yellow Alan Paine V neck that made me look like a cross between an eighties casual and Ronnie Corbett.

A pair of Gant chinos that turned out to have no rise and be a good two inches too short. Ankle swingers. In fact I’ve got a removals box in the garage full of chinos that ‘might just be the ones’.

Some no name brown loafers that looked right, but proved to be as heavy and flexible as concrete blocks.

Not Ivy, but a Levi trucker from M&M Direct that was at least a size bigger than the label, and was closer to chambray then denim.

A blue with white dot Tootal that prompted a barman to ask “What can I get you Squadron Leader?’

A black fake Crombie with red lining and pre-attached pull out pocket ‘hankie’ that was too big and so poorly made that I gained the nickname Rodney Trotter for at least a year after wearing it just the once.

Last edited by Spendthrift (2022-01-06 07:51:22)

(Come to think of it, those 'Crombies' were often highly prized by adolescent boys, who would spend a good deal of time brushing them.  That, I think, was all to their credit.  These lads would also take good care of their shoes, even if they were off a market stall).

^ Good to have you here!

I seem to remember young ladies also wearing them, with rather tight-fitting POW skirts, tights and clumpy-heeled shoes or boots.  They stood around in little groups, chewing gum, smoking Number Six and were completely unattainable (by me anyway).

To be fair, I don't recall the last time I saw anyone wearing what a 'Talk Ivy' poster would acknowledge as a bona fide G9.  I see middle-aged and older men wearing zip-up jackets, sometimes black, sometimes grey, but never in that classic 'natural colour' that I tend to associate with the old Baracuta,
Yes, they sold without difficulty, though I can't remember for how much.
Several things put me off them.  The plastic zipper was one, Steve bloody McQueen was another. 
Odd: someone had a newer version on Ebay yesterday with a 99 pence starting bid.  Thirteen minutes to go and no interest.

Apart from all the eBay mistakes that were misrepresented, didn’t fit or came with smells that the dry cleaner just couldn’t banish … where do I start?

- a Burberry Tweed country style jacket that I thought I get the alterations tailor to convert to an Ivy look because it had a three button front. A few quid later, having had the shoulder pads removed and having been let out considerably, it looked like an English jacket that had been fucked up, because that’s what it was.

- a vintage dark grey ‘tweed’ (the acrylic version of tweed) short overcoat with a fake fur shawl collar. It looked great in the photos but when it turned up it looked shite and it smelled. Never got worn and I think I actually slung it out because I didn’t even feel able to take it to the charity shop.

- a black leather Schott peacoat that made me look like a refugee from some Balkan conflict.

- a bright orange Jack Nicklaus golf jacket that I bought because it looked red in the photos and because I thought it was made by Golden Bear - not realising that Nicklaus was known as ‘The Golden Bear’. When I wore it someone would always say ‘you’ll be alright if you break down on the motorway in that one’.

All of these were misguided eBay purchases where I could at least plead that I hadn’t seen or tried them on in the flesh. But the list goes on:

- a pink and grey plaid Pendleton lumberjack type jacket with a shearling collar that I bought from ‘Bobby’s of Boston’ the famed but now sadly demised vintage dealer. It was really warm and looked great wandering around Cambridge Square in the snow, but whenever I wore it in the UK mates would shout ‘Timberrrrrrrr’ when I walked into the pub.

- a purple cord suit from John Simons that I got carried away with in the shop. But then every time I looked at I was reminded of the suit that Jack Nicholson wore when he played the Joker in Batman. Fortunately I never wore it and managed to return it for a refund or credit I can’t remember which, but the main thing was that it was gone.

Sadly I’m sure that this sort of thing could easily happen again due to the rush of impetuosity I sometimes experience with clobber.

Wow, just thought it was me that messed up from time to time... pink suit from Village Gate in ‘71, but I was only 18, but  purple corduroy in late middle age tops that ,haha, glad you got a refund Woof,

Stax, I think it was easy to mess up when shopping at the Village Gate.
I bought a salmon pink roll neck jumper from there in 71. Luckily I was washing my own clothes by then and it shrank to the size of a postage stamp.

Another: those awful Timberland boots.  When was that?  About 1992?  I'd very much liked their boatshoes, the ones my father bought back from the USA in around 1985, but the boots were an overpriced horror.  Leather laces that soon wore through.

Timberland boots get a pass from me as they’re my substitute for wellington boots. Which I will not wear.
Unfortunately I’m often dragged into situations where wellies would have been a good idea. So Timberlands it is (brown leather, not that ‘wheat’ colour) They’re warm, dry and indestructible. But I’m not giving them any style points.