Tomorrow evening, my good lady wife and I are travelling to Baltimore to see a lovely band called the Pogues.  Oh, how the family love to sing their charming Christmas ditty by the tree and a roaring fire every December.  But enough of the rememberances of that halcyon season. 

Born of a sincere desire to show the proles who's running the show (for their own good), we wish our attire to be impeccably appropriate.  That is to say, overdressed.  Of course, this is an evening show and white tie ought to be a paramount consideration, however I am greatly agrieved by the notion that I might be mistaken for one of the waitstaff at the Ram's Head, a no doubt elite and elegant venue.

A proper show of respect for decorum and the band would then suggest black tie.  However, I worry that unwashed masses swilling their beer in the most careless fashion will stain my flawless barathea not only with beer but as a result of public urination, which they are wont to do.

I therefore am strongly considering a stout country suit of hairiest tweed paired with scotch-grain dainite soled boots to deel with the ruffians.  Yes, I know no brown in town, but I'm not at all certain that an infra dig location like Baltimore counts as town.  You would think this is respectful enough of the entertainers who are Irish, and as Mr. Swift so accurately points out, lucky not to have been eaten. 

One complication does suggest itself to the sensitive sartorial mind.  Mr. Shane McGowan has lived a hard life of self-abuse (and drugs and alcohol, too!).  Due to his dubious state of health, the concert may without notice be transmogrified into a funeral at which no sartorialist worth his salt would be caught deed in the hearty fabrics of far off Hebridean Isles.  I therefor must conclude that a charcoal suit, white shirt, black tie and oxfords is the only appropriate choice.   Would a simple, white linen pocket square of discrete fold be over the top?

Also, I would be truly grateful if anyone could tell me just what Mr. McGowan means by, "You're an old slut on junk."