Clothes send messages and each item has its own language, you cannot alter its message, only recognize the symbol and use it to its and your best advantage.
Appropriateness for a given purpose, although items are elegant in their own right they may not be appropriate for a purpose. The most beautifully made light brown shoe is useless to impress a table full of bankers.
Recently I appeared at a barbeque restaurant in a navy suit with pink pinstripes, pink/blue/white checked shirt and blue necktie with small pink and white elephants; hip for the office or even a smart restaurant but a miserable failure for Rub in NYC. Made myself uncomfortable and made my guests uncomfortable. Fortunately, they knew I was into clothes.
It occurs to me that there is no higher universal elegance in the light grey suit, no matter how well made and detailed, and there is no absolute safety in the charcoal pinstripe outside of the more conservative work circles.
And clothes exist at different levels of generality. A cloth can be beautiful but made up in a way that turns someone off.
Body language might be an equally important component.
I wonder if your body language was a barrier in the BBQ place? Perhaps loosening the tie, undoing the shirt & letting the suit fall open, and generally lounging around, would have been better for everyone, incl. yourself?
Having the willingness to take it up or down a notch, depending on the situation, is what separates the real's from the fake's. I've met people who haven't been willing to loosen up a bit when the occasion calls for it and this reveals that they're playing a part, like an actor in a play who's extremely in character, rather than being real and genuine.
we could get into the act and start the fnb style wiki - the advertising could fund our own annual hotel room celeberations
It was rather weird, I thought -- I am pretty sure the rest of his outfit was casual.
I have never seen such a coat here in Burlington, and I've gone to school or lived here and environs for the better part of 30 years.